Woody’s Chalkboards

I saw a big fight at a seafood restaurant; three fish got battered

If I ignore my producer, is that considered freelancing?

Tony, let me speak, or the voices in my head will have to intervene

I used to think an ocean of soda existed, but I realized it was a fanta sea

Float like a bee. Sting also like a bee

I’m healthy, except for this persistent cough

I just bought some of pirate.com for a buck an ear

So tell me my happy place was condemned

When I’m in England my breakfast of choice is cheerios

I’ve been to the dentist; I know the drill

Paige Automotive
Free Alignment

If I root for the Steeler’s tonight, is it unpatriotic?

More impressive: 501.5 wins or the calendar slam?

Hey Frank, I had David steal your notes for today’s show. You’re going down

Note: Frank = Frank Isola, another panelist on the show

I would tell you a joke about UPS, but I’m not sure you would get it

I saw a brief police chase on TV. The suspect was in his boxers.

I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it

My night light died; so did my night life

The first 500.5 were the easiest

"You have to be odd to be number one."
— Dr. Seuss

About Woody’s Chalkboard