Woody’s Chalkboards

I’m not being obtuse but, you’re acute girl.

I don’t always turnip at parties, but when I do I’m the radish guy.

Parallel lines have so much in common...
It's a shame they will never meet

This about says it all:

ITALL

I became a vegetarian. I think it was a huge missed steak

Nothing brightens up a room like Frank's absence
Oh, wait...

Note: Frank = Frank Isola, another panelist on the show

To the guy who invented zero
thanks for nothing

I’m trying to think of a Miley Cyrus joke, but it’s not twerking

Will your dog chase a stick?

A graph of my wins the past month

Do you think I will ever get to 500 wins?
Me neither.

Everything is easier said than done, except talking. That’s the same.

You
look
funny
doing
that
with
your
head

Someone once told me to follow my dreams, so I’m going back to bed

Before Siri and Cortana, there was me.
-- Chalkboard

I'm already disturbed.
Please come in

I’m training for a Netflix marathon

Running late is exercise, right?

Only one thing keeps me from getting the new iPhone…iBroke

My iPhone seems to be broken. I pressed the home button and I’m still at work.

About Woody’s Chalkboard