If you even dream of beating me, wake up and apologize
Keep the dream alive. Hit the snooze button.
I can explain it to you but I can’t understand it for you.
I like to party. And by party I mean take naps.
Ah! The element of surprise!
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Bacon your pardon, I mustache you a question
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Who should I wear when I host the Oscars next year?
Raise your hand if you have at least 10 wins. Sorry Frank.
Note: Frank = Frank Isola, another panelist on the show.
Pull yourself together man
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Whatever happened to the #1 pencil?
My mechanic couldn’t fix my brakes, so he told me to use my feet
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat
Things that come after 70
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OK, so what is the speed of dark?