Woody’s Chalkboards

The Lakers had showtime. I own showdown.

Act like I’m not here. I do.

I’ve decided to become a limited edition.

I’m eliminating bad choices from my life. You are one.

My ATH warning to Tony Reali: This is not a drill.

Critique of Amazon Thursday Night Football? I’ll send you my opinion in two days.

Producer checked my ears before the show. Found 40 cents.

Wish I had a quarter for every bad quarter of football I’ve seen this season.

I just hit my funny bone. It is not humerus.

I don’t think before I talk on ATH. I want to be surprised like you.

I drank 5 hour energy six hours ago. What now?

The college band drum major did not pass percussion protocol.

Biblical Sarah lived until she was 127. We should all be so lucky.

I do everything in moderation except moderation.

I wanted to run away from home. My dad said he would drive me.

Why would bottled water have an expiration date?

Big day planned. I think I’ll get my car, my teeth and my colon clened.

I’m poor now. I used to have dough when I worked for Wonder Bread.

I always go the extra mile. Then I drive back to the right exit.

My daily exercise is getting my legs into underwear.

About Woody’s Chalkboard