My recliner and I go way back
Upgrade your weekend: take Monday off
Tom Brady is wicked smaht
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
My opinions may change but not the fact that I am right
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
If I gave you a dollar, would you buy a clue?
I used to be indecisive, now I am not sure
Nostalgia is not what it used to be
He who laughs last thinks slowest
I forgive Pablo for being wrong
Note: Pablo = Pablo Torre, another panelist on the show
When nothing goes right, go left
To save time let’s just assume I’m always right
I’d flex, but I like this jacket.
I say what everybody else is thinking
I have a good memory, it’s just short.
Spare my time, not my feelings.