Woody’s Chalkboards

I would flex but I like this shirt.

I party like a rock star. A very poor rock star not in a band.

Celebrity Astrology: It’s all about the stars.

WARNING
If great minds think alike, then so do the dumb ones!

A computer once beat me at chess. But it was no match for me in kickboxing.

Activity does not mean productivity

I go through life in a big hamster ball…that’s how I roll

I’m not listening, I’m waiting for you to finish talking.

About as swift as peanut butter coming out of a spray can.

If people could read my mind, I’d get punched in the face a lot.

What’s the point of all the mute-iny

If winning was easy, losers would do it.

Don’t judge me. I was born awesome, not perfect.

The difference between ignorance and indifference?

I don't know and I don't care.

Once you lick the frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin!

Pilates?
Oh, no.
I thought you said "Pie and lattes"

Either you like bacon or you’re wrong.

Let's eat Tim
Let's eat, Tim
Commas save lives!

I'd rather be seen than
ob-seen

An apple a day will keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough

About Woody’s Chalkboard