Woody’s Chalkboards

About as swift as peanut butter coming out of a spray can.

If people could read my mind, I’d get punched in the face a lot.

What’s the point of all the mute-iny

If winning was easy, losers would do it.

Don’t judge me. I was born awesome, not perfect.

The difference between ignorance and indifference?

I don't know and I don't care.

Once you lick the frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin!

Pilates?
Oh, no.
I thought you said "Pie and lattes"

Either you like bacon or you’re wrong.

Let's eat Tim
Let's eat, Tim
Commas save lives!

I'd rather be seen than
ob-seen

An apple a day will keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough

Look → You
left failed

Back by popular demand. Not by choice.

I entered ten puns in a contest to see which would win. No pun in ten did.

My friend has a trophy wife…it obviously wasn’t first place

I’m old school since I had to repeat first grade

Being a vegetarian is a huge missed steak

Be brief no matter how long it takes.

I loved water polo until my horse drowned

About Woody’s Chalkboard