Woody’s Chalkboards

I was watching commercials, and a football game broke out

I mustache you a question but I’ll shave it for later

I’m the one who chalks

I can cook a mean bowl of cereal

A man who changes his decision hasn’t made a decision

I spent an entire week there one day

I want to die young at an old age.

It’s not a walkie talkie. It’s a chalkie talkie.

Doing this show is like being a car’s tailpipe: it’s exhausting

A habitual liar lovers a habitual believer…

That last joke was a little cheesy.

I’ll bring chips just in queso.

The last time Pablo was on the show, he wasn’t old enough to rent a car.

Note: Pablo = Pablo Torre, another panelist on the show

The last time I had a “facetime” you all were in high school

The last time I won showdown I was not eligible for social security.

Please tell me what to think

Tony spelled backwards is
Y-NOT?

I can't read this without my glasses

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I used to have a handle on life, but it broke

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