I have the smartest teacher...
I'm self-taught

PTI: Where 2 bald men fight over a comb.

Note: PTI = Pardon The Interruption, the show that follows ATH.

My hamster died today. He fell asleep at the wheel.

You're cordially invited...
to leave at anytime.

Tony certainly knows what I’m chalking about.

Note: Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH.

I bet you 5,000 points I can beat Jackie today.

Note: Jackie = Jackie MacMullan, another panelist on the show, who started the show with -500 points.

Don’t you know who I think I am?
I’d be honest with you, but I rather be friends.
I don’t always write on a chalkboard, but when I do, it’s awesome!
Of all the chalkboards I own, this is my favorite.
Sometimes, I lose on purpose just to make others feel better.
So I can write anything here, and you’ll put it on TV?
I’ll forget more than you’ll never know.
You can crush chalk, but not my dreams.
I have a strange feeling I’m being watched right now.
If I have to use facts, you’re gonna be in real trouble.
I’ve got nothing to say. All the good quotes have already been taken.

I came.
I saw.
I lost.

I got love for sale...
for a limited time.

My wallet is like an onion, when I open it, it makes me cry.
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