Woody’s Chalkboards

The only joy in the world is to begin.

This would be really funny if it weren’t happening to me.

Man dreads fame as a pig dreads fat.

The shortest answer is doing.

They told me I had type-A blood, but that was a typo

Broken pencils are pointless.

When chemists die, they barium.

Know a good chemistry joke?
Let me zinc about it.

Never trust a skinny chef.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I’d rather play Twister with myself.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

I used to be a banker, but this I lost interest.

Velcro: What a rip off!

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

WARNING:
He's subject to spontaneous outburst of song.

I ♥ working nights and weekends

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

About Woody’s Chalkboard