Woody’s Chalkboards

More lightning round please

Dust is a protective coating for fine furniture

This is not an optical illusion, it only looks like one

Today’s Show: 30 Rack

Please, let me prove that winning the lottery won’t spoil me.

Don’t eat clowns. They taste funny.

The future will be better tomorrow

If you can’t imitate him, don’t copy him.

Note: From the great Yogi Berra.

I was not lying. I said things that later on seemed to be untrue.

Solutions are not the answer

I think that will take much longer than I think it will

I can handle criticism so long as it isn’t about me

If it weren’t for electricity, we’d all be watching ESPN by candlelight.

Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything.

If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, prepare to die.

I HATE NEGATIVE PEOPLE

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

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