The future will be better tomorrow
If you can’t imitate him, don’t copy him.
Note: From the great Yogi Berra.
I was not lying. I said things that later on seemed to be untrue.
Solutions are not the answer
I think that will take much longer than I think it will
I can handle criticism so long as it isn’t about me
If it weren’t for electricity, we’d all be watching ESPN by candlelight.
Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything.
If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, prepare to die.
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you
My life has a superb cast but I can’t figure out the plot
Dear Tony
I don't QUIT!
-Love Woody
Note: I believe he was making a reference to the very end of the previous day’s show. At the sign-off of the show, they showed a wide shot of the studio with all four monitors visible, and Woody held up his chalkboard, but it was too small and it was too quick to be able to read it. I assume he wrote that he quit.
I smile…because I have no idea what’s going on.