My mind is like a steel trap—rusty and illegal in 37 states
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Beat the 5 o’clock rush, don’t go to work
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Everybody repeat after me: “We are all individuals”
Monday, August 3, 2009

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Monday, August 3, 2009
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
Friday, July 31, 2009
When cheese get its picture taken, what does it say?
Friday, July 31, 2009

Note: His grammatical error, not mine. [pic]

Chatters more than a dolphin by a fish bucket
Friday, July 31, 2009

Note: Arrow pointing at Woody [pic]

If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Failure is not an option. It’s bundled with your software.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Here I am! What are your other two wishes
Thursday, July 30, 2009

Note: He left off the question mark, not me. [pic]

Time is a great healer, but a terrible beautician
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Confession is good for the soul but bad for your career
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
If your feet smell and your nose runs, you’re built upside down
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
The following statement is true; the previous statement was false.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Note: An example of the Liar's paradox.

Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
What’s the synonym for synonym
Monday, July 27, 2009

Note: He was missing the question mark, not me.

Hairier than Chewbacca dipped in Rogaine
Monday, July 27, 2009

Note: Arrow pointing at Woody, who was wearing a ridiculous fake beard in honor of Tony Reali's almost equally ridiculous real...um...facial hair. [pic]

All I ask is a chance to prove money can’t make me happy
Friday, July 17, 2009
Shops at EXTREMELY Old Navy
Friday, July 17, 2009

Note: Arrow pointing at Woody [pic]

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