Woody’s Chalkboards

If a stranger sits next to you, say: “Did you bring the money?”

I always thought it would take a lot longer to get to 73

I asked a bank clerk to check my balance. He pushed me over

In my defense I was left unsupervised as a child

My grocery list today:

It’s not a sport if you ride in a cart, drink, eat, smoke and lie about your score

Miss White just left Colonel Mustard for Professor Plum. No clue why

If you get a call you don’t want, say: “Hello, you’re on the air”

I didn’t fall. I was checking to see if gravity works

Never say “It goes without saying,” then say it

I don’t argue with Sarah. I just mentor her on how to be right

Note: Sarah = Sarah Spain, another panelist on the show

I didn’t know you award points at home. I shouldn’t have been told

My guardian angel just gave me two weeks notice

I would act my age, but I’ve never been this age before

Have a nice weekend, as if I care

Congratulations to the 8 speling bee champs

Don't be such
a fool

I specialize in paranormal activity

I don’t have time and crayons to explain myself to you

He was a dark and stormy knight

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