Woody’s Chalkboards

There’s no “I” in denial

Records made to be broken. 1,935 losses on ATH never will be, sadly

The center of the universe has been discovered. I am it

Just tried to do a cartwheel. I’ts not like riding a bike

Note: "I'ts" [sic]

Every time I find the key to success, someone changes the lock

One of the best things about being forgetful is

Still waiting patiently for the wisdom that supposedly comes with old age

I got my friend an elephant for his room. He said, “Thanks.” I said, “Don’t mention it”

I buy organic vegetables, but when I get home they’re donuts

If your dog barks during ATH, tell him to roll over and play Pablo

@tylerkkelemen: MJ played against ice cream truck drivers and plumbers

@tylerjkelemen Tom Brady is a system quarterback

I bet you $407.89 you can’t guess how much I owe my bookie

I will win I will win
I will win I will win
I will win I will win
I will win I will win
I will win I will win
I will win I will win

I hate when things take forever and a day. I don’t mind waiting forever. It’s the extra day that kills me

I got hit by a rental car. It Hertz

You can fool some of the people some of the time, but I fool all of the panelists all of the time

Hosting a new T.V. show about a village in the Netherlands “Around The Hoorn”

Where there is love, there is live…insurance

Sequel: Three chalkboards outside Tony Reali’s apartment

About Woody’s Chalkboard