Woody’s Chalkboards (2011)

Quip Date Note
May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions! Dec. 26, 2011
Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right. Dec. 26, 2011
Well, it's cold outside. A man's gotta do something to keep warm. Dec. 23, 2011
Christmas isn't just a day; it's a frame of mind. Dec. 23, 2011
He's crazy. Dec. 23, 2011 Arrow pointing at Woody.
You know you're getting old, when Santa starts looking younger. Dec. 21, 2011
Now Dasher, now Dancer, now Prancer, now Vixen, on Comet, on Cupid, on Donder, on Reali Dec. 21, 2011 I learned that Donner is variously spelled as Donder (Wikipedia)
You better watch out, you better not cry, Tim Tebow is coming to town. Dec. 21, 2011
A Christmas shopper's complaint is one of long standing. Dec. 20, 2011
I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, and so did daddy. Dec. 20, 2011
Let's be naughty and save Santa the trip Dec. 20, 2011
Santa Claus has the right idea, visit people once a year. Dec. 19, 2011
Ship your gifts today, so they can be lost by Christmas. Dec. 19, 2011
So hip it hurts Dec. 15, 2011 Arrow pointing at Woody.
Support the right to arm bears. Dec. 15, 2011
Here today, gone to borrow. Dec. 15, 2011
Dear Charles Barkley Dec. 14, 2011
I've had it up to here with Tebow doubters Dec. 14, 2011 [pic]
Not an accurate representation of Tebow Dec. 14, 2011 [pic]
How can a person draw a blank? Dec. 13, 2011
If you want something that'll last forever, take out a mortgage! Dec. 13, 2011
What do you call Santa's helpers? Dec. 13, 2011
Why can't chestnuts be roasted on a closed fire? Dec. 12, 2011
Chocolate covered cherries are the pits. Dec. 12, 2011
I want a ginger bread condo Dec. 12, 2011
Our holiday fruitcakes have no expiration! Dec. 9, 2011
We do not accept returns, but we reject yours with a smile. Dec. 9, 2011
All exchanges must be made within 6 minutes Dec. 8, 2011
I reject your reality and substitute my imagination Dec. 8, 2011
Wow, it's nice out here in left field. Dec. 7, 2011
I barely survived yesterday. And it's today already! Dec. 7, 2011
Sorry...yesterday was the deadline for all complaints. Dec. 7, 2011
I told my therapist about you! Dec. 5, 2011
Oops...did I say that out loud? Dec. 5, 2011
My minions can take out your minions. Dec. 5, 2011
Dr. FILL Dec. 2, 2011 Arrow pointing at Woody. [pic]
Dr. AHS Dec. 2, 2011 Arrow pointing at Woody. [pic]
Where are my peeps when I need them? Dec. 1, 2011
King of nothing in particular Dec. 1, 2011 Arrow pointing at Woody [pic]
I'm always right Dec. 1, 2011 Had a drawing of a right angle. [pic]
Please make me laugh. I'm bored! Nov. 30, 2011
Sorry! I can't hear you over the sound of how suave I am. Nov. 30, 2011
The voices in my head are slurring their words. Nov. 30, 2011
One should always Nov. 28, 2011
Boom, crush, night, losers, winning, duh. Nov. 28, 2011
Winning isn't everything Nov. 28, 2011
No more turkey, but I'd like some more of the bread it ate Nov. 23, 2011
It's hard to soar with eagles when your surrounded by turkeys. Nov. 23, 2011 "your" [sic]
The turkey has a destiny which ends TODAY! Nov. 23, 2011
A goal is a dream with a deadline. Nov. 21, 2011
Deadlines amuse me Nov. 21, 2011
They're not deadlines, just guidelines. Nov. 21, 2011
Please wait... Facetime loading Nov. 18, 2011 [pic]
Who cares if it's half-empty or half-full? Just fill it up Nov. 18, 2011
Teamwork Nov. 18, 2011
My genius is like liightning. One brilliant flash, and it's gone. Nov. 17, 2011 "liightning" [sic] [pic]
Yet, despite the look on my face, you're still talking. Nov. 17, 2011
Download failed Nov. 16, 2011 [pic]
Please wait... useful information loading Nov. 16, 2011 [pic]
Please wait... sarcasm loading Nov. 16, 2011 [pic]
Shhh... I'm in my happy place Nov. 14, 2011
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same. Nov. 14, 2011
Of course I'm right; I'm always right. I'm like a truth machine. Nov. 14, 2011
Rosebud was my sled dog. Nov. 7, 2011
Of course I don't look busy. I did it right the first time. Nov. 7, 2011
I'm kind of a big deal in Wyoming Nov. 7, 2011
Drama free zone Nov. 2, 2011
Of course I don't look busy. I did it right the first time. Nov. 2, 2011
Money may talk, but chocolate sings. Nov. 2, 2011
I'd give up chocolate, but I'm no quitter. Nov. 1, 2011
All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1912 Nov. 1, 2011
I will attack you like a squirrel monkey Oct. 31, 2011 Woody: "This is me without my makeup and toupee." [pic]
I'm addicted to 2 things: boys & bronzer Oct. 31, 2011 Woody was dressed as two characters from "The Jersey Shore".
Eating fried pickles changed my life Oct. 31, 2011 Woody was dressed as a member of the Red Sox. [pic]
Forget the ghosts... Oct. 28, 2011
Just hanging out with my ghoul friends Oct. 28, 2011
I am fluent in 3 different languages Oct. 28, 2011
Be careful, or you'll end up in my novel. Oct. 27, 2011
I am not arrogant. I'm just a lot better than you. Oct. 27, 2011
Epic fail Oct. 24, 2011 Arrow pointing at Woody.
I'm not completely useless... I can be used as a bad example Oct. 24, 2011
A monkey could do this job, but I was here first. Oct. 24, 2011
Fantasy football legend Oct. 20, 2011 Arrow pointing at Woody.
I'll bet you $500 I don't have a gambling problem Oct. 20, 2011
Cancel my subscription, I'm tired of your issues. Oct. 20, 2011
Roses are red Oct. 19, 2011
If you can read this, you're within roundhouse kick range. Oct. 19, 2011
Back in my day we had 7 planets Oct. 18, 2011
Warning If zombies chase us, I'm tripping you. Oct. 18, 2011
A bachelor's life is no life for a single man Oct. 18, 2011
It ain't rocket surgery Oct. 17, 2011
For Sale Oct. 17, 2011
A bad plan is better than no plan. Oct. 14, 2011
Hw do u kp a txtr in suspense? I'll tel u l8r Oct. 14, 2011
Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it. Oct. 13, 2011
If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out. Oct. 13, 2011
Spelling is a lossed art Oct. 13, 2011
Hold your breath! Oct. 12, 2011
Stay back 200 ft. Not responsible for broken windshields. Oct. 12, 2011
Do humpback whales recognize hump day? Oct. 12, 2011
Buckle Up! I'm about to show you geography Oct. 11, 2011
Stand Back! I'm going to try science Oct. 11, 2011
Great minds think alike Oct. 10, 2011
What will be, will be Oct. 10, 2011
Money talks Oct. 10, 2011
Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand. Oct. 7, 2011
I'm not 65. I'm $64.95 plus shipping and handling. Oct. 7, 2011
2B or not 2B? That is the pencil. Oct. 7, 2011
Polynesia: Memory loss in parrots. Oct. 6, 2011
I've never had premonitions, but I think one day I might. Oct. 6, 2011
Plaschke is too sexy for his hair, that's why there's none there. Oct. 6, 2011
Perforation is a rip-off Oct. 3, 2011
Dust: mud with the juice squeezed out Oct. 3, 2011
Is "Tired old cliche" one? Oct. 3, 2011
Silence is golden, but duck tape is silver. Sep. 30, 2011 Little known fact: Duck Tape is a brand of duct tape.
The best deals are the deals never made Sep. 30, 2011
A friend is someone who's there when he needs you Sep. 30, 2011
Money doesn't buy happiness, but I'd rather cry in my private jet Sep. 29, 2011
The best deals are the deals never made Sep. 29, 2011
Avoid cliches like the plague Sep. 27, 2011
Pretty mess Sep. 27, 2011 Arrow pointing at Woody.
Ninja up Sep. 27, 2011
Danger dinosaur area keep out Sep. 26, 2011
On this site in 2011 nothing happened Sep. 26, 2011
Small dogs are made of hard bark. Sep. 23, 2011
Dead owls don't give a hoot Sep. 23, 2011
Don't talk about yourself here; we will do plenty of that when you leave. Sep. 21, 2011
I have seen the truth, and it makes no sense. Sep. 21, 2011
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs. Sep. 20, 2011
Come as strangers. Leave as enemies. Sep. 20, 2011
Dwn wth vwls Sep. 19, 2011
Coup De Grass Sep. 19, 2011
Aibohphobia Sep. 19, 2011
When it pours it rains Sep. 16, 2011
You can't judge a cover by its book Sep. 16, 2011
The chalkboard is the original Twitter Sep. 16, 2011
Hey Lil Wayne: I listen to your 3-peat; now watch my 3-peat Sep. 14, 2011
Just waking up...never seen a machine like ATH...wow! Sep. 14, 2011
It's over til it's not over Sep. 13, 2011
Last guys finish nice Sep. 13, 2011
Waste is a terrible thing to mind. Sep. 13, 2011
Too clever is dumb Sep. 12, 2011
The gene pool could use a little chlorine Sep. 12, 2011
Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday Sep. 12, 2011
The more you understand me, the crazier you get. Sep. 9, 2011
Never turn your back on a charging turtle Sep. 9, 2011
Save the Earth: It's the only planet with chocolate. Sep. 9, 2011
Never buy a car you can't push Sep. 7, 2011
I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded. Sep. 7, 2011
Boldly going nowhere Sep. 7, 2011 Arrow pointing at Woody.
He who hesitates is probably right Sep. 6, 2011
The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach Sep. 6, 2011
The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it Sep. 6, 2011
Two wrongs are only the beginning. Sep. 2, 2011
Don't sweat petty things...or pet sweaty things. Sep. 2, 2011
I'm getting a tattoo Aug. 31, 2011 [pic]
How do I look? Aug. 31, 2011 [pic]
I don't repeat gossip, so listen carefully Aug. 30, 2011
The bottom line is Aug. 30, 2011
He's about as useful as a trap door on a canoe. Aug. 30, 2011 Arrow pointing at Woody.
One's best friend is oneself. Aug. 29, 2011
Some of my best friends are acquaintances Aug. 29, 2011
The best time to make friends is before you need them. Aug. 29, 2011
Never let a computer know you're in a hurry Aug. 17, 2011
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand Aug. 17, 2011
A face unclouded by thought Aug. 17, 2011 Arrow pointing at Woody.
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you. Aug. 16, 2011
I'm so great I'm jealous of myself Aug. 16, 2011
Ask me how I tolerate stupid questions Aug. 16, 2011
Without geography, you're nowhere Aug. 15, 2011
Go ahead and talk to me; my day was ruined anyway. Aug. 15, 2011
I don't believe in miracles; I rely on them. Aug. 15, 2011
Asteroids rock! Aug. 11, 2011
I give 100% 10% of the time Aug. 11, 2011
Next mood swing Aug. 11, 2011
How's my deriving? Aug. 10, 2011
I'm positive I lost an electron Aug. 10, 2011
Never test the depth of the water with both feet. Aug. 10, 2011
Woody's Stock Aug. 9, 2011
If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? Aug. 9, 2011
Dear Mom Aug. 8, 2011
Dear ESPN Aug. 8, 2011
Dear Trebeck Aug. 8, 2011
I don't bring anything to the table but dinner. Aug. 5, 2011
At the end of the day...I go to sleep. Aug. 5, 2011
Find X Aug. 5, 2011 Based on some high school math that I haven't used since then, x = 2.9. [pic]
Sorry about what happens later Aug. 4, 2011
This chalkboard is 100% organic Aug. 4, 2011
Any way we can speed this up? Aug. 4, 2011
A new type of broom came out, it's sweeping the nation. Aug. 2, 2011
Stop staring at me when I'm invisible! Aug. 2, 2011
I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it Aug. 2, 2011
If we stop voting, will they go away? Aug. 1, 2011
I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me. Aug. 1, 2011
Prop Garage Sale Aug. 1, 2011
Hogwarts alumnus Jul. 20, 2011 Arrow pointing at Woody.
Anyone can win ATH, unless Tony is hosting. Jul. 20, 2011 Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH.
If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance Jul. 20, 2011
Some folks are wise, and some otherwise. Jul. 19, 2011
A yawn is a silent shout Jul. 19, 2011
Indecision is the key to flexibility. Jul. 18, 2011
Coffee just isn't my cup of tea. Jul. 18, 2011
The noblest of dogs is the hot dog; it feeds the hand that bites it. Jul. 18, 2011
Imagine there were no hypothetical situations. Jul. 15, 2011
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep. Jul. 15, 2011
Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference. Jul. 15, 2011
Due to recent cutbacks Jul. 13, 2011
If I promise to miss you, will you go away? Jul. 13, 2011
Excuse me while I change into something more formidable Jul. 13, 2011
4 out of 5 voices in my head say "Go for it" Jul. 12, 2011
Does the noise in my head bother you? Jul. 12, 2011
Born to run Jul. 11, 2011
Why let reality or Reali wreck your day? Jul. 11, 2011 Reali = Tony Reali, the host of ATH
Support your local planet! Jul. 7, 2011
So much to do, so few people to do it for me Jul. 7, 2011
I'm so bored, I may resort to doing some work. Jul. 7, 2011
Never let a computer know you're in a hurry. Jul. 6, 2011
I have a photographic memory that has never been developed. Jul. 6, 2011
A good sport has to lose it to prove it. Jul. 6, 2011
Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen 'emall Jul. 5, 2011
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered. Jul. 5, 2011
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. Jul. 5, 2011
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed Jul. 1, 2011
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I Jul. 1, 2011
Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population Jun. 30, 2011
If you wish to live wisely, ignore sayings, especially this one Jun. 30, 2011
My 2nd favorite color is bloodshot eyes Jun. 29, 2011
Plaschke's favorite color is argyle. Jun. 29, 2011
My favorite color is clear. Jun. 29, 2011
I just wish my mouth had a backspace key. Jun. 28, 2011
I've got what it takes, but nobody wants it. Jun. 28, 2011
The dead batteries were given out free of charge. Jun. 28, 2011
New game plan...cancel it Jun. 24, 2011
Here's an idea...uh...I forgot Jun. 24, 2011
I've only met four perfect people in my life and I didn't like any of them Jun. 24, 2011
I wouldn't do volunteer work if they paid me. Jun. 22, 2011
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand. Jun. 22, 2011
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is sad. Jun. 22, 2011
Buses travel faster when you're outside running after them. Jun. 21, 2011
If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts. Jun. 21, 2011
I've got a problem for your solution Jun. 20, 2011
I hope life isn't a joke, because I don't get it Jun. 20, 2011
If you don't believe in love at first sight, should I walk by again? Jun. 20, 2011
Don't be so humble. You're not that great. Jun. 15, 2011
There are no stupid questions; except the ones on this show. Jun. 15, 2011
I'm as strong as an ox and almost as intelligent Jun. 14, 2011
"Be yourself" is the worst advice you can give Plaschke Jun. 14, 2011
The best substitute for brains is mute! Jun. 13, 2011
The name is Pronounced "Novitzki," "Dawid Stern" Jun. 13, 2011
Turn off the heat. The party is over. Jun. 13, 2011
Too many people give advice when what you really need is a loan. Jun. 10, 2011
The secret to looking young is watching this show everyday Jun. 10, 2011
My alarm clock doesn't ring. It applauds! Jun. 10, 2011
Panelists on this show who know the least always argue the most. Jun. 9, 2011
The best things in life are free, and so are the bad predictions on this show. Jun. 9, 2011
To get your kids attention, stand in front of the TV NOW! Jun. 9, 2011
Do something Jun. 8, 2011
Well done is better than well-bred Jun. 8, 2011
Everybody is somebody else's wierdo Jun. 8, 2011
Predictions are difficult, especially about the future. Jun. 7, 2011
I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father. Jun. 7, 2011
You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle. Jun. 7, 2011
A bachelor's life is no life for a single man Jun. 6, 2011
I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix. Jun. 6, 2011
Always try to be modest, and tell everyone you are! Jun. 3, 2011
I love the great state of Chicago Jun. 3, 2011
Forget the Joneses! I can't keep up with the Simpsons. Jun. 3, 2011
I wish the buck stopped here. I could use a few. Jun. 2, 2011
By the time you find greener pastures, you're too old to climb the fence. Jun. 2, 2011
I don't eat health foods at my age; I need all the preservatives I can get. Jun. 2, 2011
I like to study tourists in their native habitat Jun. 1, 2011
Don't be surprised if someday I surprise you! Jun. 1, 2011
No matter how late it is, it's never as late as it will be later on Jun. 1, 2011
Macho does not prove mucho. May. 31, 2011
For me, it would be very unusual to have a usual day May. 31, 2011
I wish I could get a mirror with a better view May. 31, 2011
I'll give you a definite maybe May. 27, 2011
Errors have been made. He will be blamed. May. 27, 2011 Arrow pointing at Woody.
Read this, or you'll be sorry. On the other hand you may be sorry, anyway. May. 27, 2011
Breaking news May. 25, 2011
A metaphor is a simile with attitude May. 25, 2011
I treasure every moment Plaschke is muted. May. 25, 2011
He had delusions of adequacy May. 24, 2011 Arrow pointing at Woody
Tim has a teflon brain...nothing sticks May. 24, 2011
About as useless as a pulled tooth May. 23, 2011 Arrow pointing at Woody
When you come into a room the mice jump on chairs May. 23, 2011
Tony's barber must really hate him May. 23, 2011
Failure has gone to his head May. 19, 2011 Arrow pointing at Woody.
Bill you're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediatley. May. 19, 2011
Tim has an inferiority complex -- and it's fully justified May. 19, 2011
I can't seem to remember your name, but please don't help me May. 18, 2011
I don't do decaf May. 18, 2011
I don't know what your problem is Tony, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce May. 18, 2011
Top 10 reasons to procrastinate May. 17, 2011 [pic]
A good rooster crows in any hen house May. 17, 2011
Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now May. 17, 2011
Choose Wisely May. 16, 2011 Had a rock, paper, and scissors taped to the chalkboard [pic]
Experience is something you don't get until after you need it May. 16, 2011
I know so little, but I know it so fluently. May. 10, 2011
They gave me the key to the city, then they changed the locks. May. 10, 2011
The trouble with quotes on the Internet May. 10, 2011
Double negatives are not a no-no May. 9, 2011
You had me at bacon May. 9, 2011
Sometimes I mispell on perpose May. 6, 2011
Spelling is hard May. 6, 2011
I was not informed that the bird is the word May. 5, 2011
I'm confused. Oh wait, maybe I'm not. May. 5, 2011
I can't hear you over the sound of how epic I am. May. 5, 2011
Pirate Crossword May. 4, 2011 [pic]
Think outside the box May. 4, 2011 [pic]
Stand Back! I'm a professional. May. 3, 2011
Legendary May. 3, 2011
Dear math May. 3, 2011
Oh, look! Just 364,823 more days til I start caring what you think May. 2, 2011
I'm not good at empathy. Will you accept sarcasm? May. 2, 2011
Disinclined to play by the rules Apr. 29, 2011 [pic]
My cult-like following is now accepting applications Apr. 29, 2011
Delightfully tacky, yet unrefined Apr. 29, 2011 [pic]
I'd be a morning person if it didn't start so early in the day Apr. 28, 2011
Just pretend I'm not here. That's what I'm doing. Apr. 28, 2011
I'm like a super hero, but with no powers or motivation Apr. 28, 2011
Sarcasm loading please wait Apr. 27, 2011
I'm sugar and and everything nice, if you wanna mess with me, you better think twice Apr. 27, 2011 “and and” [sic]
They say the truth will set you free. But I just keep getting muted. Apr. 26, 2011
Everyone in life has a purpose, even if it's to serve as a bad example Apr. 26, 2011
Look up for inspiration, down for concentration, at me for information. Apr. 25, 2011
Plaschke doesn't even know what face time means. Apr. 25, 2011
I could skip the 1st round and still beat today's panel. Apr. 25, 2011
I didn't lose...I just ran out of wit Apr. 22, 2011
Face Time should be: 1 second x winners age. Apr. 22, 2011
Reali gives Cowlishaw pity points Apr. 22, 2011
Sticks and stones may break my bones...and it hurts Apr. 20, 2011
Those who think they know everything annoy those of us that do Apr. 20, 2011
Bob Ryan writes his columns on an Etch-A-Sketch Apr. 19, 2011
My life has been influenced more by Play-Doh than Plato Apr. 19, 2011
I complement my flimsy arguments with bad delivery Apr. 18, 2011
If my talk confuses you, you should try being in my head for a day. Apr. 18, 2011
Can you tell I do daily brain exercises? Apr. 18, 2011
The latest survey shows that three out of four people make up 75% of the population Apr. 15, 2011
We have enough youth. How about a fountain of "smart"? Apr. 15, 2011
It's not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame Apr. 15, 2011
I just finished a 2-week diet. All I lost was 14 days. Apr. 13, 2011
I only make up stats when I don't have the facts Apr. 13, 2011
Never at a loss for words. A coherent argument is another story. Apr. 13, 2011
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult Apr. 12, 2011 Arrow pointing at Woody
Normal people worry me Apr. 12, 2011
Love by some, hated by many Apr. 12, 2011
I wear 2 watches so I will have more time on my hands Apr. 11, 2011
Violinists don't work; they just fiddle around Apr. 11, 2011
3 reasons I will win today Apr. 11, 2011
I didn't lose my mind; I sold it on ebay Mar. 29, 2011
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up Mar. 29, 2011
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met Mar. 29, 2011
It is not my fault that I never learned to accept responsibility Mar. 28, 2011
My bracket is chalk suey Mar. 28, 2011
The entire world's a stage; I didn't get cast! Mar. 24, 2011
Jemele is not king of the “hill” Mar. 24, 2011 Jemele = Jemele Hill, another panelist on the show
Suburbia: Where they cut down trees and name streets after them Mar. 24, 2011
What do sheep count when they want to fall asleep? Mar. 23, 2011
Reali mutes ambidextrously, but only scores with his right hand Mar. 23, 2011 Reali = Tony Reali, the host of ATH
Mediocrity is my comfort zone Mar. 23, 2011
Chalkboard beating 5 million humans Mar. 21, 2011
Chalkboard doesn't pick chalk Mar. 21, 2011
Chalkboard's bracket rules Mar. 21, 2011
About as subtle as a flying brick Mar. 16, 2011 Arrow pointing at Woody
Crazy is a relative term in my family Mar. 16, 2011
I wear the brains in the family Mar. 14, 2011
There's no future in time travel Mar. 14, 2011
Nothing improves my memory more than trying to forget Mar. 10, 2011
Never kick a man when you're down. Mar. 10, 2011
Never look back unless you're planning to go that way Mar. 10, 2011
Marilyn Monroe once asked me out. I was in her room. Mar. 9, 2011
I never know how much of what I say is true Mar. 9, 2011
I thank my lucky stars I'm not superstitious Mar. 9, 2011
I'm proud to say I'm a humble person Mar. 7, 2011
Criticism comes easier than craftsmanship Mar. 7, 2011
If you can't annoy somebody, there's little purpose of being on this show Mar. 7, 2011
The cure for writer's cramp is writer's block Mar. 4, 2011
Sports writers are easy to get along with, if you like children Mar. 4, 2011
I wish to report the strange disappearance of my hopes and dreams Mar. 3, 2011
Beware! Freedom of speech Mar. 3, 2011
Caution! Be careful of false, meaningless, and not even very funny warnings, like this one. Mar. 3, 2011
Jumble Mar. 2, 2011 Woody had a jumble of “Around the Horn”. [pic]
Hangman Mar. 2, 2011 Woody had a hangman setup. Looks like the words were “Tony Reali” (the host of ATH). [pic]
Crossword Mar. 2, 2011 Woody had a crossword.

Across: 1. Function word; 2. In a circle
Down: 1. Musical instrument [pic]
Gnihtyreve smees drawkcab Feb. 24, 2011 “Everything seems backward”
I'm feeling upside down today Feb. 24, 2011 Written upside down
If you can read this, you're too close to the TV. Feb. 24, 2011
Off balance today Feb. 23, 2011 Chalkboard was tilted
People who go camping are really intense Feb. 23, 2011
I often quote myself; it adds credibility to my argument Feb. 23, 2011
The person who sees both sides of a question, sees nothing at all Feb. 22, 2011
Discussion is an exchange of knowledge; argument an exchange of ignorance Feb. 22, 2011
The best argument is that which seems merely an explanation Feb. 22, 2011
Washington is the only President who didn't blame the previous admin. Feb. 21, 2011
When's Vice-Presidents Day? Feb. 21, 2011
I'm cooler than anyone not here Feb. 18, 2011
Of all the animals, Tony is the most unmanageable Feb. 18, 2011 Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH
Tony is either charming or tedious Feb. 18, 2011 Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH
Quit while you're ah Feb. 17, 2011
I never finish anyth Feb. 17, 2011
As a matter of fact, the world does revolve around me Feb. 16, 2011
Being awesome has its disadvantages Feb. 16, 2011
Zombies want me for my brain Feb. 16, 2011
How do I block you in real life? Feb. 11, 2011
Just be glad I'm not your kid Feb. 11, 2011
I know karate and 2 other Japanese words Feb. 10, 2011
Poets and pigs are only appreciated after their deaths Feb. 10, 2011
This is my clone Feb. 9, 2011 Arrow pointing at Woody [pic]
Goodest spourts riter Feb. 9, 2011 Arrow pointing at Woody [pic]
My circle of trust Feb. 9, 2011 [pic]
For Sale: Host - Cheap Feb. 8, 2011 [pic]
Any way we can speed this up? Feb. 8, 2011
Sorry about what happens later... Feb. 8, 2011
An expert farmer is outstanding in his field Feb. 7, 2011
Buy one dog, get one flea Feb. 7, 2011
If I agree with Cowlishaw we both must be wrong Feb. 7, 2011 Cowlishaw = Tim Cowlishaw, another panelist on the show.
Reali should be investigated for ATH point shaving Feb. 4, 2011 Reali = Tony Reali, the host of ATH
If a tomato is a fruit, does that make ketchup a smoothie Feb. 4, 2011 He was missing the question mark.
Never mess up an apology with an excuse Feb. 3, 2011
Tony is not learning a whole lot while his mouth is moving Feb. 3, 2011 Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH
I just got skylights put into my place. The people above me are furious. Feb. 3, 2011
A good pun is its own reword Feb. 2, 2011
Tony should be issued a Woody-to-English dictionary Feb. 2, 2011 Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH
Cowlishaw is like a broken clock; correct twice a day Feb. 2, 2011 Cowlishaw = Tim Cowlishaw, another panelist on the show.
Alliterations are always absolutely asinine Feb. 1, 2011
I deserve a bye into the showdown Feb. 1, 2011
The Miss Universe pageant is fixed. All the winners are always from Earth. Jan. 31, 2011
I have many, many moot mute points Jan. 31, 2011
My two cents is worth a fortune in your currency Jan. 31, 2011
ATH would get higher ratings if I were the only panelist Jan. 28, 2011
Do I get double points for my split personality? Jan. 28, 2011
Here's some good advice: Never take my advice Jan. 28, 2011
I want to ask and answer my own questions Jan. 26, 2011
Big words don't scare me; using them does Jan. 26, 2011
I use a stunt man for the tough questions Jan. 26, 2011
Big words don't scare me; using them does Jan. 25, 2011
I speak 3 languages fluently. English is not one of them. Jan. 25, 2011
I have fan clubs in all 53 states and Texas Jan. 25, 2011
My two favorites states are West Dakota and New Michigan Jan. 24, 2011
Sarcasm is a body's natural defense against stupid Jan. 24, 2011
Kids adore me because I talk to my Rice Krispies, too Jan. 21, 2011
Kids adore me because I'm really just one of them Jan. 21, 2011
Kids adore me because I'm smarter than a 5th grader Jan. 21, 2011
At my age middle of the night is 11pm Jan. 19, 2011
The early bird gets the worm. I'd rather sleep in and have pancakes. Jan. 19, 2011
I'm perfect unless you count my losses on this show Jan. 18, 2011
Powerpoint presentations have rendered me useless Jan. 18, 2011
Most shows: 1,570 Jan. 18, 2011
If you can't do something right, do it yourself Jan. 14, 2011
Wanna play? Jan. 14, 2011 Drawing of a hopscotch board. [pic]
My failures are only exceeded by my mistakes Jan. 12, 2011
Fishing is addictive. You can get hooked. Jan. 12, 2011
I'm board, and hanging by a thread Jan. 12, 2011
Reali: Jan. 11, 2011 Drawing of man with “lame beard” & “lame hair”. [pic]
Woody: Jan. 11, 2011 Drawing of a man [pic]
Wanted: Jan. 11, 2011 Drawing of a man [pic]
My failures are only exceeded by my mistakes Jan. 10, 2011
I can recite backwards all 28 numbers of the alphabet Jan. 10, 2011
I would score more points if I understood the questions Jan. 10, 2011
How does non-stick coating stick to frying pans? Jan. 7, 2011
My crystal ball says the Ouija board is fake Jan. 7, 2011
I can beat Plaschke even when I'm not here Jan. 7, 2011 Plaschke = Bill Plaschke, another panelist on the show
Don't eat the cow in Moscow or the bull in Instanbul Jan. 5, 2011
Don't eat the turkey legs in Turkey or the deli in New Delhi Jan. 5, 2011
Don't eat the mussels in Brussels or the red beans in New Orleans Jan. 5, 2011
My teachers never had a chance Jan. 4, 2011
My teachers did the best they could Jan. 4, 2011
I made 10 resolutions. Jan. 4, 2011
New year same old sh...ow Jan. 3, 2011
Welcome to December 34th 2010 Jan. 3, 2011