Woody’s Chalkboards (2008)

Quip Date Note
Blonde Dec. 22, 2008 It was written upside down.
At the end of the show Woody thanked a bunch of people and informed everyone that he would not be back until after the new year, and wished everyone a happy holiday. [pic]
For a good time, call someone else Dec. 22, 2008
Save water, shower with friends Dec. 22, 2008
David: Will you marry me? -Woody Dec. 19, 2008
David: consider a pre-nup Dec. 19, 2008
Kristina: Will you marry me? -David Dec. 19, 2008 At the end of the segment, Tony asked the panel if Kristina should say “yes”. J.A. Adande thought that David should “man up and ask her himself”; Tim Cowlishaw thought “maybe they should live together and get a dog first”; and Jay Mariotti scolded Woody for always falling for internet hoaxes. Tony then muted all but Woody and wished David good luck. [pic]

At the very end of the show, Woody informed us that Kristina said, “Yes”. And, really, who in their right mind would say “No” to a proposal via Woody’s chalkboard? [pic]
Big Brother is watching you! Dec. 18, 2008
$5 charge for muting Dec. 18, 2008
Frog parking ←→ All others toad Dec. 18, 2008 Looked like a no parking sign [pic]
What do little birdies see if they get knocked out? Dec. 17, 2008
If a clock is hungry, does it go back 4 seconds? Dec. 17, 2008
What do sign makers hold when they go on strike? Dec. 17, 2008
I may stop being indecisive Dec. 16, 2008
Young once, immature forever Dec. 16, 2008 Didn't we see this on Feb. 19 and May 22?
I want tougher competition Dec. 15, 2008
AARP poster child Dec. 15, 2008 Arrow pointing at him
When you're right no one remembers, when you're wrong no one forgets Dec. 15, 2008
If the #2 pencil is the best, why is it still #2? Dec. 12, 2008
If a cow laughs hard, does milk come out its nose? Dec. 12, 2008
Why does fat chance = slim chance? Dec. 11, 2008
Can’t touch this Dec. 11, 2008 Arrow pointing at him [pic]
Go go gadget blackboard Dec. 11, 2008
I am openly gray Dec. 10, 2008
Why are there 5 syllables in monosyllabic? Dec. 10, 2008
I poured spot remover on my dog and now I can't find him Dec. 10, 2008
It's not rocket surgery Dec. 9, 2008
My French teacher is muy caliente! Dec. 9, 2008
The gene pool could use a little chlorine Dec. 9, 2008
Yet, despite the look on my face… you are still talking Dec. 8, 2008
I hear voices, and they don’t like you Dec. 8, 2008
Chalkboard just wants out Dec. 5, 2008
Chalkboard wants bailout Dec. 5, 2008
Chalkboard wants buyout Dec. 5, 2008
The mullet is the future Dec. 4, 2008
Careful playing Scrabble, you could lose an I Dec. 4, 2008
Good listeners are ear responsible Dec. 3, 2008
Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil Dec. 3, 2008
You have failed me for the last time Tony Dec. 2, 2008 Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH
Hi. Where's your off button? Dec. 2, 2008
Not all who wander are lost Dec. 2, 2008
Don’t forget these 3 things… I forget Dec. 1, 2008
I'm not old, I'm experienced Dec. 1, 2008
How can you mute a face like this? Dec. 1, 2008
Everything in moderation, including moderation Nov. 25, 2008
I look better in 3D 6D Nov. 25, 2008 [pic]
Today is yesterday's tomorrow Nov. 24, 2008
OK, so what's the speed of dark? Nov. 24, 2008
Proofreading are for lazy persons Nov. 24, 2008
ATH is a circus, and I'm in the freak tent Nov. 21, 2008 ATH = Around The Horn
Come to the dork side Nov. 21, 2008
I’m a vol-in-tears Nov. 21, 2008
That’s unpossible Nov. 20, 2008
Man with 1 chopstick go hungry Nov. 20, 2008
I'm the windshield, Plaschke is the bug Nov. 20, 2008 Plaschke = Bill Plaschke, another panelist on the show
Running out of chalk Nov. 19, 2008 The “chalk” was faded, simulating him running out of chalk [pic]
I'm Woody and I approve of this message Nov. 19, 2008
Scoop Woody Dogg Nov. 19, 2008 Arrow pointing at him.
Snoop Dogg was on the show with J. A. Adande in L.A. [pic]
My shoes are older than Reali Nov. 17, 2008
My best friends are imaginary Nov. 17, 2008
I can predict yesterday's scores Nov. 17, 2008
Shhhh! Woody's talking. Nov. 14, 2008
Please don't sue me when I blow your mind Nov. 14, 2008
Never play strip ATH with Plaschke Nov. 14, 2008 Plaschke = Bill Plaschke, another panelist on the show
Cows are mooooody Nov. 13, 2008
UFOs are real. Bigfoot told me so. Nov. 13, 2008
It's wonderful to be in the great state of Denver Nov. 12, 2008
If it weren't for electricity, we'd be watching ATH by candlelight Nov. 12, 2008 ATH = Around The Horn
I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met Nov. 12, 2008
Most lies about me are false Nov. 11, 2008
To all panelists: eat my chalk Nov. 11, 2008
To all veterans: Happy Day! Nov. 11, 2008
ATH would get canceled without me Nov. 10, 2008 ATH = Around The Horn
Meet my demands or I'm walking Nov. 10, 2008
Improve the show; Let me go solo! Nov. 10, 2008
If you surrender to the wind, you can ride it Nov. 7, 2008 A quote from Toni Morrison
Dealer in high grade fertilizer Nov. 7, 2008
I don't mispronounciate my words Nov. 7, 2008
Out of ideas 4 Blackboard Nov. 5, 2008
The best mind-altering drug is truth Nov. 5, 2008
Never believe in mirrors or newspapers Nov. 5, 2008
Knowledge talks, wisdom listens. Nov. 4, 2008
Voted before the show, will vote again after Nov. 4, 2008
Bob has a face like a saint—A saint bernard Nov. 3, 2008 Bob = Bob Ryan, another panelist on the show
A critic is a legless man who teaches running Nov. 3, 2008
Decorate yourself from the inside out Nov. 3, 2008
I told you I was sick! Oct. 31, 2008 The blackboard was shaped like a tombstone. Woody was dressed as The Joker. [pic]
Bill is too slow to keep worms in a tin Oct. 30, 2008 Bill = Bill Plaschke, another panelist on the show
Tim has the answer to everything and the solution to nothing Oct. 30, 2008 Tim = Tim Cowlishaw, another panelist on the show
Never insult anyone by accident Oct. 30, 2008
Do computers cough when they get a virus? Oct. 29, 2008
If life is a stage, I'd like better lighting Oct. 29, 2008
In Philly, when it rains, it's poor Oct. 28, 2008 World Series game 5 was halted due to rain the night before.
Bud Selig is not the reignnmaker Oct. 28, 2008 Bud Selig is the commissioner of Major League Baseball. World Series game 5 was halted due to rain the night before.
World Series: The Imperfect Storm Oct. 28, 2008 World Series game 5 was halted due to rain the night before.
Call me Drow the Plumber Oct. 24, 2008 A reference to "Joe the Plumber" from the USA Presidential campaign.
Do you put powdered cheese on popcorn shrimp? Oct. 24, 2008
3 Kinds of Lies - Lies - Damned Lies - Statistics Oct. 24, 2008
One drop of ink may make a million think Oct. 23, 2008 A quote from Lord Byron.
I only work to enjoy when I am not working Oct. 23, 2008
I either get what I want or I change my mind Oct. 23, 2008
It's good to be clever, but not to show it Oct. 22, 2008
Free advise is worth what you paid for it Oct. 22, 2008
You can't be late until you show up! Oct. 22, 2008
Patience is not a virtue, it is a waste of time. Oct. 17, 2008
Ask no questions and hear no lies Oct. 17, 2008
ManRam for sale priceless Oct. 16, 2008 ManRam = Manny Ramirez, a Major League Baseball player who is currently a free agent.
Pinky Lee would play with a broken finger Oct. 16, 2008 Making reference to Tony Romo, quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys, being out due to a broken right pinkie finger.
Pinky Lee was a comic.
Sometimes I feel like a nut, sometimes I don't Oct. 16, 2008
I have an inferiority complex, but it's not a good one Oct. 15, 2008
The only genius with an IQ of 60 Oct. 15, 2008 Arrow pointing at him
Better a witty fool than a foolish wit Oct. 15, 2008
The thief of bad gags Oct. 14, 2008 Arrow pointing at him
The average person thinks he isn't Oct. 14, 2008 Arrow pointing at him [pic]
Listening to Tim is like wading through glue Oct. 13, 2008 Tim = Tim Cowlishaw, another panelist on ATH.
Interestingly, Jay was on the same show...has Woody found a new nemesis?
Happiness is good health and a bad memory Oct. 13, 2008
Misfortunes and twins never come singly Oct. 13, 2008
Déjà Moo: The feeling that you have heard this B.S. before Oct. 10, 2008
Wanna do something? I'm board. Oct. 10, 2008
One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory Oct. 10, 2008
I put my Christmas tree up today Oct. 9, 2008
I already have my Halloween costume Oct. 9, 2008
I must break you Oct. 8, 2008
Totally tubular Oct. 8, 2008 Arrow pointing at him
Drop the zero and get with the hero Oct. 8, 2008
Saved by the bell horn Oct. 7, 2008 Saved by the bell horn
Born and raised in St. Olaf Oct. 7, 2008
Mecca lecca hi, mecca hiney ho Oct. 7, 2008
I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation. Oct. 6, 2008
First class forgetter Oct. 6, 2008
Give me points or lose me forever Oct. 6, 2008
Blackboard out sick. Whiteboard rules! Oct. 3, 2008 A whiteboard was used.
I'm not 100% sure, but I believe that the whiteboard is on the reverse side of the blackboard. Note how the blue and green sides are reversed, as well as the string that the blackboard/whiteboard hangs from. [pic]
Men who eat crackers in bed wake up feeling crummy. Oct. 2, 2008
Aliens are abducting sexy old people. I just wanted to say goodbye. Oct. 2, 2008
Jealousy is a disease. Get well soon Jay. Oct. 2, 2008
Math uses: 50% equtions; 50% proofs; 50% formulas Oct. 1, 2008 “equtions” [sic] [pic]
Yoga is for posers Oct. 1, 2008
Sorry for my selfconfident self Sep. 30, 2008
Sweetness is as sweetness does Sep. 30, 2008
Mariotti has 1/2 a brain. Why??? Sep. 29, 2008 Mariotti = Jay Mariotti, another panelist on the show
Slugs have 4 noses. Why??? Sep. 29, 2008
Camels have 3 eyelids. Why??? Sep. 29, 2008
Single by choice…not my choice Sep. 26, 2008
Dangerously undermedicated Sep. 26, 2008 Arrow pointing at him [pic]
Before they made Mariotti, they broke the mold Sep. 26, 2008 Mariotti = Jay Mariotti, another panelist on the show
Cancel my subscription. I don't need your issues. Sep. 25, 2008
I am still hot. It just comes in flashes. Sep. 25, 2008
A line is a dot that went for a walk Sep. 25, 2008
I can tell Jay's wrong. His lips are moving. Sep. 24, 2008 Jay = Jay Mariotti, another panelist on the show
Yesterday was the deadline on all complaints Sep. 24, 2008
Who is going to bailout Mariotti Sep. 23, 2008 Mariotti = Jay Mariotti, another panelist on the show
My stock is way ↑ ↑ ↑ ↑ Sep. 23, 2008 Arrows pointing up [pic]
Did NOT win an Emmy Sep. 23, 2008 Arrow pointing at him [pic]
I'm too humble to brag Sep. 22, 2008
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died Sep. 22, 2008
Energizer bunny arrested, charged with battery Sep. 22, 2008
I hope when you see me you smile Sep. 17, 2008
Should there be instant reply for Reali's calls? Sep. 17, 2008 Reali = Tony Reali, the host of the show
Talk the talk. Chalk the chalkboard. Sep. 16, 2008
Any way we can speed this up? Sep. 16, 2008
Watching me online is virtually the best Sep. 15, 2008
Dream more, work less Sep. 15, 2008
I'm part genius, part buffoon Sep. 12, 2008
Jay has had a great show. But this wasn't it. Sep. 12, 2008 Jay = Jay Mariotti, another panelist on the show
If you ain't first, you're Mariotti Sep. 12, 2008 Mariotti = Jay Mariotti, another panelist on the show
I either get what I want or change my mind Sep. 11, 2008
There are 3 ninjas on this blackboard. Try to find them. Sep. 11, 2008
A bird in hand is safer than one overhead Sep. 11, 2008
Everyone says I'm in denial, but I'm not Sep. 10, 2008
Strangely enough, only 26% of pirates wear prescription eye patches Sep. 10, 2008
I nap at work Sep. 10, 2008
Men who sit on tacks get the point Sep. 5, 2008
Been known to exaggerate Sep. 5, 2008 Arrow pointing at him [pic]
A house without a toilet is uncanny Sep. 5, 2008
Help! I've fallen & I can't shut up. Sep. 4, 2008
Men who live in glass houses should change in the basement Sep. 4, 2008
I'll never forget this - for a long time Sep. 4, 2008
Don't blame me, I just work here Sep. 3, 2008
I'll make this sound cooler in my blog Sep. 3, 2008
Customer service: Putting people on hold since 1959 Sep. 3, 2008
I'm smiling. That alone should scare you. Sep. 2, 2008
How can you mute a face like this? Sep. 2, 2008
I forgot more than Mariotti will ever know Aug. 29, 2008 Mariotti = Jay Mariotti, another panelist on the show
Sorry Angelina, I'm taken Aug. 29, 2008
Men who run behind cars get exhausted Aug. 29, 2008
Be reasonable do it my way Aug. 28, 2008
Sorry but I'm ridiculously good Aug. 28, 2008
I use jedi mind tricks Aug. 28, 2008
Send in the chimp, I'm taking the day off Aug. 27, 2008
Lifetime member of the time-out club Aug. 27, 2008
Don't argue. I've been sauteed in right sauce. Aug. 27, 2008
Save the drama for yo' mama Aug. 26, 2008
So much to do, so few people to do it for me Aug. 26, 2008
Procupines float in water Aug. 25, 2008
Clinophobia is the fear of beds Aug. 25, 2008
A jellyfish is 95% water Aug. 25, 2008
Mona Lisa has no eyebrows Aug. 15, 2008
Pinocchio is Italian for "Pine Eye" Aug. 15, 2008
Tact is for people who aren't witty Aug. 14, 2008
National sarcasm society Aug. 14, 2008 Arrow pointing at him [pic]
$35 charge for whining Aug. 13, 2008
Bang head here Aug. 13, 2008 Phrase was inside a circle. Woody, looking as fashionable as ever, was wearing swimming goggles and swimmies/water wings. [pic]
Clothing optional beyond this point Aug. 13, 2008
Penguins can jump up to 6 feet Aug. 12, 2008
The hundred years war lasted 116 years Aug. 12, 2008
A cockroach can live up to 10 days with no head Aug. 12, 2008
What if there were no rhetorical questions? Aug. 11, 2008
USA Swimmers: Just add water Aug. 11, 2008
Mariotti's on a slow boat to China Aug. 11, 2008
This blackboard looked better on the Internet Aug. 9, 2008
I heart hyperbole the most. Ever. Aug. 8, 2008 heart = a little heart (?)
It sure makes the day longer when I get to work on time Aug. 8, 2008
I have a reputation to live down to Aug. 8, 2008
What would MacGyver do? Aug. 8, 2008
Eliminating me is against human rights Aug. 7, 2008 He was still getting a haircut during this segment.
The mute button violates the 1st amendment Aug. 7, 2008 He was getting a haircut during this segment
Here and adored Aug. 6, 2008 Pictures of Woody on the chalkboard. [pic]
Here and forgotten Aug. 6, 2008 Pictures of Tony Reali on the chalkboard. [pic]
Gone and forgotten Aug. 6, 2008 Pictures of Jay Mariotti on the chalkboard. He wasn't on the show. [pic]
I only make sense in closed captioning Aug. 5, 2008
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult Aug. 5, 2008 Arrow pointing at him [pic]
No spring chicken Aug. 4, 2008 Arrow pointing at him [pic]
My train of thought has been delayed Aug. 4, 2008
I'm in a place where I don't know where I am Aug. 4, 2008
If I got smart with Jay, how would he know? Aug. 1, 2008 Jay = Jay Mariotti, another panelist on the show
Rob Stone is rock solid! Aug. 1, 2008 Rob Stone was filling in for Tony Reali this week.
What happens if you’re scared half to death TWICE? Jul. 31, 2008 The first 13 minutes were preempted by Manny Ramirez's trade to the Dodgers, so this chalkboard was in the last or "Showdown" segment, which normally doesn't have a chalkboard (when Woody makes it).
I'm currently being distracted Jul. 31, 2008
Discover wildlife. Have children. Jul. 31, 2008
Smiling is my favorite Jul. 30, 2008
Stupid should hurt Jul. 30, 2008
Hi. I don't care. Thanks. Jul. 30, 2008
I'm your fairy godmother Jul. 29, 2008
Can your inner child come out and play? Jul. 29, 2008
La la la I can't hear you Jul. 28, 2008
Don't always act your age Jul. 28, 2008
Old is not for sissies Jul. 28, 2008
Aibohphobia: the fear of palindromes Jul. 18, 2008
Coup de grass: lawnmower Jul. 18, 2008
When I die, I want to come back as a mute button. Jul. 18, 2008
Someday we'll look back on this, laugh nervously & change the subject. Jul. 17, 2008
I came to chew gum & win ATH. I'm all out of gum. Jul. 17, 2008
I’m happy. Don't wreck it by talking. Jul. 15, 2008
I'm off my meds today! Jul. 15, 2008
If it fits in a toaster, I can cook it Jul. 15, 2008 During the introduction, the ATH 'blurb' said, "Running out of blackboard ideas".
Around t _ e _ orn Jul. 14, 2008 Filled in all but the letter "H" [pic]
A _ ou _ _ _ _ e _ o _ _ Jul. 14, 2008 Filled in some vowels [pic]
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Jul. 14, 2008 Blanks instead of letters [pic]
Dance contest winner Jul. 11, 2008 Arrow pointing at him [pic]
Rockstar in Japan Jul. 11, 2008 Arrow pointing at him [pic]
Gimpin' aint easy Jul. 11, 2008
I didn't hear Jay. I was too busy being right. Jul. 10, 2008
Circular reasoning works because Jul. 10, 2008 Written in a circle [pic]
Tony's jedi mind tricks don't work on me. Jul. 9, 2008 Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH
I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one. Jul. 9, 2008
I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on eBay Jul. 9, 2008
You are here * Jul. 8, 2008 [pic]
Help me, help you, Tony! Jul. 8, 2008 Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH
Thumb wrestling champion Jul. 8, 2008 Arrow pointing at him [pic]
Thumb wrestling champion Jul. 7, 2008 Arrow pointing at him [pic]
Free hugs today! Jul. 7, 2008
Exclusively dating Madonna Jul. 7, 2008 Arrow pointing at him [pic]
Ring my liberty bell Jul. 4, 2008
Eat your heart out Kobayashi Jul. 4, 2008 Kobayashi = Takeru Kobayashi, a competitive eater who lost to Joey Chestnut in the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest
Hot-Diggity Dog Jul. 4, 2008
Eliminate and eradicate redundancy Jul. 2, 2008
Silence is compliance Jul. 1, 2008
Think or perish Jul. 1, 2008
A pessimist is what an optimist calls a realist Jul. 1, 2008
I tried to walk into Target but I missed Jun. 30, 2008
When in doubt scream & run in circles Jun. 30, 2008
No paparazzi please Jun. 30, 2008
Too legit to quit Jun. 19, 2008
Everybody loves ramen Jun. 19, 2008
Most likely to secede Jun. 19, 2008
Escalators don't break, they become stairs Jun. 18, 2008
If I look lost & confused return me to ATH Jun. 18, 2008
I'm doing this show in pain Jun. 18, 2008
Professional celebrity Jun. 17, 2008 Arrow pointing at him [pic]
Pobody's Nerfect Jun. 17, 2008
Flavor of the week Jun. 17, 2008 Arrow pointing at him [pic]
Mariotti is slang for 2nd place Jun. 11, 2008 Mariotti = Jay Mariotti, another panelist on the show
Wrong hurts. Ask the other 3 panelists Jun. 11, 2008
Beards: They grow on you Jun. 11, 2008
Talk only if you can improve on the silence Jun. 10, 2008
Avoid cliches like the plague Jun. 10, 2008
I don't think much therefore I might not be Jun. 10, 2008
My clone is awesome. Jun. 9, 2008
Come to the dark side, we have cookies. Jun. 9, 2008
Prefectionist Jun. 9, 2008 Arrow pointing at him [pic]
This is what cool looks like Jun. 4, 2008
Working class hero Jun. 4, 2008 Arrow pointing at him [pic]
Old people rock Jun. 4, 2008
Wyoming: There are no escalators Jun. 3, 2008
Prague: Czech it out Jun. 3, 2008
Canada: America's hat Jun. 3, 2008
This is only a test Jun. 2, 2008
Do as you're told. Unless I tell you otherwise. Jun. 2, 2008
If you can't be a muse, be amusing! Jun. 2, 2008
Young at heart, old of body May. 30, 2008
3 of us are wrong & the other has a blackboard May. 30, 2008
Slippery as an eel May. 28, 2008 Arrow pointing at him [pic]
Wolf in sheep's clothing May. 28, 2008 Arrow pointing at him [pic]
Sitting duck May. 27, 2008 Arrow pointing at him [pic]
You get what you pay for. Ex: Mariotti May. 27, 2008 Mariotti = Jay Mariotti, another panelist on the show
Tony is not a sight for sore eyes May. 27, 2008 Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH
Hurry, I'm late for the early bird special May. 23, 2008
I was a Baywatch extra May. 23, 2008
I forget why I'm here May. 22, 2008
It wasn't me, it was the gorilla May. 22, 2008
Young once, immature forever May. 22, 2008
Just say no to innuendo May. 21, 2008
I'm sorry you have to see me like this May. 21, 2008
Too cool for TV May. 20, 2008
I may be insane, but I'm not crazy May. 20, 2008
Only elephants should wear ivory May. 20, 2008
Pick Jay's brain? I'd rather pick my nose May. 19, 2008 Jay = Jay Mariotti, another panelist on the show
I love mankind; it's people I can't stand May. 19, 2008
Never eat more than you can lift May. 16, 2008
You can't just let nature run wild May. 16, 2008
My favorite animal is steak May. 16, 2008
Saliva drools, OK May. 15, 2008
Indecision is the key to flexiblity May. 15, 2008
BLANK May. 14, 2008 He didn't win
blank May. 14, 2008 It was blank, as promised
Blank until I win May. 14, 2008
No more blackboards until I win May. 13, 2008
Tony: Eat my chalk dust May. 13, 2008 Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH
ESPN pays me by the mute May. 13, 2008
1 out of 5 dentists recommend ATH May. 12, 2008
2 rules 4 success: 1. Don’t tell people everything you know. 2. May. 12, 2008
Give me ambiguity or give me something else May. 9, 2008
Don't look at me in that tone of voice May. 9, 2008
This blackboard looked better on the Internet May. 9, 2008
I know I came into this show for something May. 8, 2008
I sold my car to buy gas May. 7, 2008
Where facts are few, experts are many May. 7, 2008
Double negatives are a complete NO-NO May. 6, 2008
Bad spellers of the world untie! May. 6, 2008
Dead owls don't give a hoot May. 6, 2008
DWN WTH VWLS May. 5, 2008
Everyone's entitled to my opinion May. 5, 2008
Serial chiller May. 2, 2008 Arrow pointing at him [pic]
McDreamy of ATH May. 2, 2008
I think my brain has a mind of its own. May. 1, 2008
Lies are like cockroaches. Where there's 1 there's a bunch. May. 1, 2008
I don't believe in superstitions. It's bad luck. May. 1, 2008
God grant me patience. I want it now. Apr. 30, 2008
The weather is here. Wish you were beautiful. Apr. 30, 2008
Tall people have higher standards Apr. 30, 2008
Horse lovers are stable people Apr. 29, 2008
Sexy senior citizen Apr. 29, 2008 Arrow pointing at him [pic]
Hugs are better than drugs Apr. 29, 2008
You only live once (maybe) Apr. 28, 2008
Take the L out of lover. We are over. Apr. 28, 2008
If I'm too loud, you're too old! Apr. 28, 2008
Proofreading are for lazy persons Apr. 25, 2008
Whenever I feel blue I start breathing again Apr. 25, 2008
A closed mouth gathers no feet Apr. 25, 2008
Clothes required, underwear optional Apr. 23, 2008
Instant swimmer. Just add water. Apr. 23, 2008 Arrow pointing at him [pic]
If you can read this you're too close to the TV Apr. 23, 2008 Written in smaller-than-normal letters
I'm gnarly Apr. 22, 2008
Leave me alone. I'm having a crisis. Apr. 22, 2008
I painted the town Apr. 22, 2008
Ask me. I might. Apr. 21, 2008
My karma ran over your dogma Apr. 21, 2008
Why are you reading this? Apr. 21, 2008
Beware of sharks Apr. 18, 2008
(drawing of a happy face sun) Apr. 18, 2008 He was in Florida. [pic]
I'm so adjective I verb nouns. Apr. 16, 2008
Even the simplist job can be done rong. Apr. 16, 2008
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me Apr. 15, 2008
I have the body of a god. Buddha. Apr. 15, 2008
If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0 Apr. 15, 2008
Rap is to music as Etch-A-Sketch is to art Apr. 14, 2008
Vegetarian: Armenian word for lousy hunter Apr. 14, 2008
My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips Apr. 8, 2008
The trouble with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard Apr. 8, 2008
Support wild life - throw a party Apr. 7, 2008
My mother thinks I'm at the movies Apr. 7, 2008
!@#!*& Apr. 7, 2008
There's a time & place for everything. It's called Around The Horn. Apr. 4, 2008
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk Apr. 4, 2008
There's no final four on ATH. There's only 1. Apr. 4, 2008
Whatever kind of look you were going 4, you missed Mariotti! Apr. 3, 2008 Mariotti = Jay Mariotti, another panelist on the show
I'm trying to imagine you with a personality Mariotti! Apr. 3, 2008 Mariotti = Jay Mariotti, another panelist on the show
Well, this day was a total waste of makeup Apr. 2, 2008
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. Apr. 2, 2008
How do I set a laser printer to stun? Apr. 2, 2008
Everytime I get it together I forget where I put it Mar. 28, 2008
How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand. Mar. 28, 2008
Change is inevitable except from vending machines Mar. 28, 2008
I was lost but now I'm found Mar. 27, 2008 The blackboard was missing from the first segment of the show.
Rock is dead. Long live paper & scissors. Mar. 26, 2008
I am not infantile, you stinky poopyhead Mar. 26, 2008
Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done. Mar. 25, 2008
What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about? Mar. 25, 2008
If you are what you eat, I'm fast, cheap, & easy Mar. 25, 2008
Excess is never too much in moderation Mar. 24, 2008
Practice safe lunch use a condiment Mar. 24, 2008
I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs Mar. 24, 2008
Don't try this at home I'm an amateur Mar. 14, 2008
All I ask is that you treat me no differently than a king Mar. 14, 2008
You had me at mute Mar. 14, 2008
Money is the root of all evil. Send me $10 for more information. Mar. 13, 2008
Sorry if I look interested, I'M NOT Mar. 13, 2008
If at first you don't succeed skydiving is not for you Mar. 13, 2008
Blame Captain Kangaroo for the way I am Mar. 12, 2008
I love me some me Mar. 12, 2008
I know everything, just not all at once Mar. 11, 2008
If I look lost & confused return me to ATH Mar. 11, 2008
Some wear Superman PJ's, Superman wears Woody PJ's Mar. 11, 2008
Stable relationships are for horses Mar. 10, 2008
I'm schizophrenic and so am I. Mar. 10, 2008
People who think they know it all really annoy those who do Mar. 10, 2008
I want Mariotti Marriott points Mar. 7, 2008 Mariotti = Jay Mariotti, another panelist on the show
Dog & remote missing. Reward for remote. Mar. 7, 2008
For my next trick I need Jay & a mute button Mar. 6, 2008 Jay = Jay Mariotti, another panelist on the show
It's a Favre Favre better thing he did Mar. 6, 2008 Brett Favre retired earlier in the day
On your mark, get set, go away! Mar. 5, 2008
Without geometry, life is pointless Mar. 5, 2008
Dikembe Mutombo means no worries Mar. 5, 2008 Dikembe Mutombo is an NBA basketball player.
There's something about Mariotti Mar. 4, 2008 Mariotti = Jay Mariotti, another panelist on the show
If you're not the lead dog, the view never changes Mar. 4, 2008
If you can't run with the big dogs, get back on the porch Mar. 4, 2008
Today's name is Reali Mar. 3, 2008 Reali = Tony Reali, the host of ATH
Every day I add a name to my hate list Mar. 3, 2008
Frogs (heart) leap year Feb. 29, 2008
Leap year = 3 more buffets Feb. 29, 2008
Mariotti never works Feb. 29th Feb. 29, 2008 Mariotti = Jay Mariotti, another panelist on the show
If it weren't for the gutter my mind would be homeless Feb. 28, 2008
ATH: So easy a caveman could do it Feb. 28, 2008
Normal: Just a washing machine setting Feb. 27, 2008
Life's a garden. Dig it. Feb. 27, 2008
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind most Feb. 26, 2008
I don't get mad I get Mariotti Feb. 26, 2008
The wow factor Feb. 26, 2008 Arrow pointing at him
I'm serious and don't call me Shirley Feb. 25, 2008
Picked last in P.E. Feb. 25, 2008
Career Goals: writer (checked), ninja (checked) Feb. 25, 2008
No country for old men but ATH is for old me Feb. 22, 2008
There will be blood today Feb. 22, 2008
Oscar Madison nominee Feb. 22, 2008 Arrow pointing at him
I am always right sometimes Feb. 21, 2008
It was too dark to see the eclipse Feb. 21, 2008 There was a lunar eclipse the night before
Charisma donor Feb. 20, 2008 Arrow pointing at him
If I wanted a friend I'd buy a dog Feb. 20, 2008
Do I look like a people person! Feb. 20, 2008
You're only young once, but you're immature forever. Feb. 19, 2008
This show works better if Time doesn't talke Feb. 19, 2008
Where ever I am, there's a party Feb. 19, 2008
All about the Jacksons Feb. 18, 2008 Had $20 bills taped to the blackboard
President of ATH Feb. 18, 2008
Paige '08 Feb. 18, 2008
I'm the person your parents warned you about! Feb. 15, 2008
All I want is a little more than I'll ever get Feb. 15, 2008
Breakfast: raw egg, 2 aspirin, fresh mango, cup of coffee Feb. 15, 2008
Mr. Wonderful Feb. 14, 2008 Arrow pointing at him
Nothing says I heart u like getting muted Feb. 14, 2008
My heart belongs to a gorilla Feb. 14, 2008
Less Jay, more me. Feb. 13, 2008 Jay = Jay Mariotti, another panelist on the show
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it Feb. 13, 2008
I'm sick of being arm candy Feb. 13, 2008
Don't act stupid just because you know how to Feb. 12, 2008
Disgruntled employee of the month Feb. 12, 2008
I feel like the only tree in the kennel Feb. 11, 2008
It's never too late to have a happy childhood! Feb. 11, 2008
Tan and rested. Still don't like Jay. Feb. 11, 2008 Was on vacation the prior week; Jay = Jay Mariotti, another panelist on the show
It's not who you know, it's whom you know Feb. 1, 2008
Reboot the government Feb. 1, 2008
It's been lovely but I have to scream now Feb. 1, 2008
Hard to make a comeback, Tony, when you've been nowhere! Jan. 31, 2008 Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH
I started with nothing, I still have most of it Jan. 31, 2008 In Scottsdale, AZ for the Super Bowl
I love the music Jan. 30, 2008 In Scottsdale, AZ for the Super Bowl; music can be heard playing the background
Bear takes over Disneyland in Pooh d'etat Jan. 30, 2008 In Scottsdale, AZ for the Super Bowl
Cactus if you can Jan. 29, 2008 In Scottsdale, AZ for the Super Bowl
Jay is banned from all Scottsdale bars Jan. 29, 2008 In Scottsdale, AZ for the Super Bowl; Jay = Jay Mariotti, another guest on the show
Hangin with 3 fine clipboards Jan. 29, 2008 In Scottsdale, AZ for the Super Bowl
If the phone doesn't ring, Jay, you'll know it's me Jan. 25, 2008 Jay = Jay Mariotti, another guest on the show
I shout because Tony is hard of understanding Jan. 25, 2008 Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH
Life is too short and so is Tony Jan. 25, 2008 Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH
Let's just disagree to agree with Cowlishaw Jan. 24, 2008 Cowlishaw = Tim Cowlishaw, another guest on the show
Getting dumber just listening to you Jan. 24, 2008
Tony doesn't want to read your blog Jan. 23, 2008 Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH
I'm just like Jackie, only louder & funnier Jan. 23, 2008 Jackie = Jackie MacMullan, another panelist on the show
I eat paste Jan. 23, 2008
Is today really necessary? Jan. 22, 2008
I see your point, but Jay is still wrong. Jan. 22, 2008 Jay = Jay Mariotti, another panelist on the show
Good kid gone bad Jan. 21, 2008
Sick of it ALL! Jan. 21, 2008
The more people I meet, the better I like my dog. Jan. 21, 2008
Writer by day, superhero by night. Jan. 18, 2008
I'm here. What's your other 2 wishes? Jan. 18, 2008
Warning! Will throw nearest object. Jan. 18, 2008
In my world, there is no "I" in abbreveation. Jan. 17, 2008 Making reference to his misspelling on Jan. 15, 2008
That's it, everyone gets a timeout. Jan. 17, 2008
Born to party, forced to work Jan. 16, 2008
Always use spel cheker Jan. 16, 2008 Making reference to his misspelling on Jan. 15, 2008
Rock is dead. Long live paper & scissors Jan. 16, 2008
What's the abbreveation for abbreveation? Jan. 15, 2008 abbreveation [sic]
Permanently on spin cycle Jan. 15, 2008
Cooler than the other side of the pillow Jan. 14, 2008
Smart is today, dumb is forever Jan. 14, 2008
There's no life like low life Jan. 14, 2008
Some do, some don't, I might Jan. 11, 2008
Actually, Mariotti is my worst enemy Jan. 11, 2008 Mariotti = Jay Mariotti, another panelist on the show
I'm my own worst enemy Jan. 11, 2008
I make stuff up Jan. 10, 2008
I see Jay's playing stupid & he's winning Jan. 10, 2008 Jay = Jay Mariotti, another panelist on the show
I talk to strangers Jan. 10, 2008
Marriage: The leading cause of divorce Jan. 9, 2008
You can't sleep off ugly Jan. 9, 2008
I was big I was easy in the big easy Jan. 9, 2008
Places to go people to annoy! Jan. 4, 2008
It's only kinky the 1st time Jan. 4, 2008
Why be normal? Jan. 4, 2008
Mars is my home planet Jan. 3, 2008
None of the above Jan. 3, 2008
Clean-up on aisle 5 Reali Jan. 3, 2008
2008: The year of the drow Jan. 2, 2008
New year, same Mariotti Jan. 2, 2008