Woody’s Chalkboards (2012)

Quip Date Note
The 3 Stages: Dec. 21, 2012
Hi ho hi ho it's off to winning ATH I go Dec. 20, 2012
My Christmas list: chalk Dec. 20, 2012
The best defence is a good spell-check. Dec. 20, 2012
If you're not shore, don't give into pier pressure. Dec. 14, 2012
I bought a really cool shovel. It was groundbreaking. Dec. 14, 2012
I reject your reality and substitute my own. Dec. 12, 2012
If I could talk I would tell you to stop writing on me! Dec. 12, 2012
In golf, you should wear 2 pairs of pants in case you get a hole in one. Dec. 12, 2012
Thank me. I'm welcome. Dec. 10, 2012
If I could be in 2 places at once, I'd love to meet myself. Dec. 10, 2012
Chalkboreds don't have spell check. Dec. 10, 2012
I stole the iPhone 5, but I never faced time. Dec. 5, 2012
What's the iPhone's favorite football team? Dec. 5, 2012
For Sale Dec. 4, 2012
Failure is always an option. Dec. 4, 2012
The 5 symptoms of laziness Dec. 4, 2012
You have to learn to finish your sentences because Dec. 3, 2012
For my next trick, Bomani will be eliminated. Dec. 3, 2012 Bomani = Bomani Jones, another panelist on the show.
Maybe we should mute Tony so he can get his beauty rest. Dec. 3, 2012 Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH.
I thought I made a mistake, but I was mistaken. Nov. 30, 2012
If speech is really free, then why do we have to pay for vowels? Nov. 30, 2012
Bad spellers of the world untie! Nov. 30, 2012
If I win Powerball, I will split it with all the viewers. Nov. 27, 2012
Mute me all you want... Nov. 27, 2012
I'm a contestant on a reali-ty show. Nov. 26, 2012 Tony Reali is the host of ATH.
If intelligence were sunshine... Nov. 26, 2012
I would tell a joke about pizza, but that would be too cheesy. Nov. 26, 2012
I've fallen in love with the Internet. It was love at first site. Nov. 21, 2012
That chandelier I passed before was the high light of my day. Nov. 21, 2012
A door open is ajar. When a jar is open is it adoor? Nov. 21, 2012
Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time. Nov. 19, 2012
Before you came along we were hungry. Now we are fed up! Nov. 19, 2012
People live and learn. He just lives. Nov. 16, 2012 Arrow pointing at Woody.
Moonlight becomes you, total darkness even more! Nov. 16, 2012
Your argument is like the waves of the sea. It makes me sick! Nov. 15, 2012
I worship the ground that awaits you. Nov. 15, 2012
He's dark and handsome. When it's dark, he's handsome. Nov. 15, 2012
I discovered the python had a crush on me. Nov. 12, 2012
Your mouth is getting too big for your muzzle. Nov. 12, 2012
You're so ugly you make small children cry! Nov. 9, 2012
If you don't like Nov. 9, 2012
Any friend of yours Nov. 9, 2012
If you don't vote...don't come crying to me. Nov. 6, 2012
I strongly encourage you to vote, even if it's for the wrong candidate. Nov. 6, 2012
If you're reading this and haven't voted... Nov. 6, 2012
Careful now. Don't let your brains go to your head! Nov. 5, 2012
If brains were dynamite, you couldn't blow your nose. Nov. 5, 2012
Sit down and give your mind a rest. Nov. 5, 2012
Thank you for 10 years!!! Nov. 2, 2012 It was the 10 year anniversary of ATH.
Got chalk! Nov. 2, 2012 Uh...I think I've just been made redundant.
A few ears short of a bushel Oct. 30, 2012 Arrow pointing at Woody.
A few birds shy of a Hitchcock film Oct. 30, 2012 Arrow pointing at Woody.
A few french fries (and toy) short of a Happy Meal Oct. 30, 2012 Arrow pointing at Woody.
Keep talking. I always yawn when I'm interested. Oct. 29, 2012
Make somebody happy. Mind your own business! Oct. 29, 2012
Make a mental note... oh, I see you're out of paper. Oct. 29, 2012
I'm a victim of "soicumstance". Oct. 26, 2012
I didn't wanna say "buy", but I couldn't say "sell". Oct. 26, 2012
He does the work of 3 men: Moe, Larry, and Curly. Oct. 26, 2012
Go ahead, tell them everything you know. It'll only take 30 seconds. Oct. 25, 2012
Don't think, it may sprain your brain! Oct. 25, 2012
King Fu Panda Oct. 25, 2012
If I said anything to you that I should be sorry for, I'm glad. Oct. 22, 2012
If brains were rain, you'd be a desert. Oct. 22, 2012
If fools could fly, this show would be an airport. Oct. 22, 2012
His suitcase doesn't have a handle. Oct. 19, 2012 Arrow pointing at Woody.
He's so ugly he trick or treats over the phone Oct. 19, 2012 Arrow pointing at Woody.
If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean. Oct. 19, 2012
Everyone is gifted. Some open the package sooner. Oct. 18, 2012
Forgot to pay his brain bill Oct. 18, 2012 Arrow pointing at Woody.
I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside. Oct. 18, 2012
The only thing he brought to this show was his car. Oct. 15, 2012
Someday you'll go far, if you catch the right train. Oct. 15, 2012
You're getting on my nerves, and I only have two left! Oct. 12, 2012
A sharp tongue is no indication of a keen mind. Oct. 12, 2012
I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time? Oct. 12, 2012
If you don't like my opinion of you - improve yourself! Oct. 11, 2012
I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep trying. Oct. 11, 2012
If I had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents! Oct. 8, 2012
I hear what you're saying but I just don't care. Oct. 8, 2012
I understand you Bill, but nobody else does. Oct. 8, 2012 Bill = Bill Plaschke, another panelist on the show.
You've never been outspoken; no one has ever been able to. Oct. 5, 2012
People say I've no taste, but I like you. Oct. 5, 2012
Of all two hosts' on this show, Tony is my 2nd favorite. Oct. 5, 2012
Has the IQ of lint Oct. 4, 2012 Arrow pointing at Woody.
I heard that your brother was an only child. Oct. 4, 2012
He's so dense that light bends around him. Oct. 4, 2012
He has more faces than Mount Rushmore. Oct. 1, 2012
Cowlishaw and I should be on the Writers' Cup. Oct. 1, 2012
Brains aren't everything. In fact, in your case they're nothing! Oct. 1, 2012
Converse with any plankton lately? Sep. 27, 2012
Izzy isn't is he? Sep. 27, 2012
In the land of the witless, I'm the king. Sep. 27, 2012
I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away. Sep. 25, 2012
Tony, I found an endorsement deal for you. Sep. 25, 2012 Had a box of "Just for Boys" (parody of Just for Men hair coloring) on the chalkboard. [pic]
Krusty, Clarabell, Bozo, Doink and Woody applying for ref jobs Sep. 25, 2012
He can think without moving his lips! Sep. 21, 2012
My ATH Records Sep. 21, 2012
Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent. Sep. 20, 2012
Don't you love nature, despite what it did to you? Sep. 20, 2012
You're very smart. You have brains you've never used. Sep. 19, 2012
They say it's mind over matter. I say it doesn't matter. Sep. 19, 2012
As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? Sep. 19, 2012
Catastrophic success Sep. 18, 2012 Arrow pointing at Woody.
A sharp tongue is no indication of a keen mind. Sep. 18, 2012
A guy with your IQ should have a low voice too! Sep. 18, 2012
A few clues shy of a solution Sep. 13, 2012 Arrow pointing at Woody.
A few chips short of a cookie Sep. 13, 2012 Arrow pointing at Woody.
A few beans short of a chili Sep. 13, 2012
Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence. Sep. 12, 2012
I need a life. Do you know where I can download one? Sep. 12, 2012
All 5 voices in my head say: "Cowlishaw is wrong" Sep. 11, 2012 Cowlishaw = Tim Cowlishaw, another panelist on the show
Dear Tony, if I promise to miss you, will you go away? Sep. 11, 2012
Due to recent cutbacks, the mute button has been turned off. Sep. 11, 2012
But enough of words, actions speak louder than. Action now, observe all. Sep. 10, 2012
Clockwood Orange Sep. 10, 2012
Excuse me while I change into something more formidable. Sep. 7, 2012
I'd humiliate you but I'm afraid you might like it. Sep. 7, 2012
A witty saying proves nothing. Sep. 7, 2012
I'm 14 in dog years. Sep. 5, 2012
What are the cat days of summer? Sep. 5, 2012
I have a masters degree in chalkboard sayings. Sep. 4, 2012
I'm here because I have to be, what's your problem? Sep. 4, 2012
My cat was hit by a car, and now she's down to six lives. Aug. 31, 2012
Cat didn't get my tongue...mute did. Aug. 31, 2012
Do you prefer cat-nip or cat-nap? Aug. 31, 2012
My dog is smarter than your honor student. Aug. 29, 2012
My dog attends disobedience school. Aug. 29, 2012
Talk is cheap. Chalk is $2.49 a box. Aug. 29, 2012
Hunger is the best sauce. Aug. 28, 2012
Don't spend all your money on a safe. Aug. 28, 2012
The greatest strength Aug. 28, 2012
Even a stopped clock is right twice a day! Aug. 27, 2012
My dad said the ice cream truck plays music when it's out. Aug. 27, 2012
Be Yourself Aug. 17, 2012
Be Yourself Aug. 17, 2012
Stop staring at me when I'm invisible. Aug. 15, 2012
What is it about "buy" or "sell" that confuses the producers. Aug. 15, 2012 What is it about this question that confused someone to leave out the question mark? [pic]
Go ahead and talk to me. My day was ruined anyway. Aug. 15, 2012
Another brilliant mind ruined by this show. Aug. 14, 2012
Boycott sham-poo! Demand the real-poo! Aug. 14, 2012
I substitute fast reflexes for good manners. Aug. 14, 2012
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. Aug. 13, 2012
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. Aug. 13, 2012
If you are truthful, you will have as much gold as you want. Aug. 10, 2012
I can never tell when I run out of invisible chalk Aug. 10, 2012
I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week. Aug. 10, 2012
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. Aug. 8, 2012
I hope life isn't a joke, because I don't get it. Aug. 8, 2012
I've got a problem for your solution. Aug. 7, 2012
Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock. Aug. 7, 2012
I don't like me, either. Aug. 6, 2012
Imagine there were no hypothetical situations. Aug. 6, 2012
Two horses in a man costume. Aug. 6, 2012
Spoiler alert: Cowlishaw is first cut. Aug. 3, 2012 Cowlishaw = Tim Cowlishaw, another panelist on the show. Woody was first cut.
The noblest of dogs is the hot dog, it feeds the hand that bites it. Aug. 3, 2012
Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken. Aug. 2, 2012
I keep hitting "escape", but I'm still here. Aug. 2, 2012
Hey, I found your nose. It was in my business again. Aug. 2, 2012
The next time you think you're perfect, try walking on water. Aug. 1, 2012
I'm not a complete idiot; some parts are missing. Aug. 1, 2012
Don't play stupid with me...I'm better at it. Aug. 1, 2012
I can't remember Jul. 31, 2012
I totally take back Jul. 31, 2012
Raisin cookies Jul. 31, 2012
Time is precious... waste it wisely! Jul. 30, 2012
If each day is a gift, I would like to know where I can return Mondays. Jul. 30, 2012
Winning the ATH games is like being the champion of nothing. Jul. 30, 2012
Dear Algebra, stop asking me to find your X. Don't ask me Y. Jul. 26, 2012
Relax, I'm harmless Jul. 26, 2012
I can't hear you over the sound of how epic I am. Jul. 26, 2012
No one ignores me quite the way Tony does Jul. 25, 2012 Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH
You're pointless Jul. 25, 2012 [pic]
Sorry, your original joke was made 200 times on Twitter Jul. 25, 2012
Bad decisions make good stories Jul. 24, 2012
Normal is boring Jul. 24, 2012
Half the lies they tell about me aren't true Jul. 24, 2012
You couldn't handle me even if I came with instructions. Jul. 23, 2012
I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later Jul. 23, 2012 [pic]
I should come with a warning label. Jul. 18, 2012
I'm so adjective, I verb nouns. Jul. 18, 2012
Some people read boards. I think you're one of them. Jul. 18, 2012
If you fall Jul. 16, 2012
I'm not arguing Jul. 16, 2012
Normal is boring. Jul. 13, 2012 [pic]
Don't hate what you can't imitate. Jul. 13, 2012
I'm not stubborn. My way is just better. Jul. 13, 2012
For a minute there, you bored me to death. Jul. 11, 2012
You read my board. That's enough social interaction for today. Jul. 11, 2012
I'm not childish, you're just a big doody head. Jul. 10, 2012
A.A.A.A.A. Jul. 10, 2012
Non-flammable Jul. 10, 2012
Fake karate is better than no karate at all. Jul. 9, 2012
I was much happier being in denial. Jul. 9, 2012
I'm what Willis was talkin' 'bout Jul. 6, 2012
I've stopped listening; why haven't you stopped talking? Jul. 6, 2012
I'm silently correcting your grammar. Jul. 6, 2012
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. Jun. 26, 2012
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore. Jun. 26, 2012
I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now. Jun. 26, 2012
Tim Cowlishaw Jun. 25, 2012
Tony Reali Jun. 25, 2012
Woody Paige Jun. 25, 2012
My dog could outscore Cowlishaw on this show. Jun. 22, 2012 Cowlishaw = Tim Cowlishaw, another panelist on the show.
Each show with Tony makes me appreciate my dog more. Jun. 22, 2012 Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH.
You can't spell "ESPN" without "PENS". Jun. 21, 2012
There's an "I" in Paige for a reason. Jun. 21, 2012
I'm the "P" in ESPN. Jun. 21, 2012
I was reading a book about the history of glue, and it's sticking with me Jun. 19, 2012
I'm reading a book about Alexander Graham Bell. My ears keep ringing. Jun. 19, 2012
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down. Jun. 19, 2012
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words. Jun. 18, 2012
Cowlishaw didn't like his beard at first. Then it grew on him. Jun. 18, 2012 Cowlishaw = Tim Cowlishaw, another panelist on the show.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own. Jun. 13, 2012
Ham + Eggs Jun. 13, 2012
If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead yet? Jun. 11, 2012
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. Jun. 11, 2012
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in? Jun. 11, 2012
Show me an ATH loser, and I'll show you Bill Plaschkey Jun. 8, 2012 Bill Plaschkey is another panelist on ATH.
Today! Woody Paige unplugged Jun. 8, 2012
Humans are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home. Jun. 7, 2012
I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either. Jun. 7, 2012
Happiness is having a large, loving, close-knit family in another city. Jun. 5, 2012
Horse sense is a good judgement which keeps horses from betting on people Jun. 5, 2012
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon. Jun. 5, 2012
When it comes to thought, some people stop at nothing. Jun. 4, 2012
Beauty is a light switch away... Jun. 4, 2012
There are 3 kinds of people in this world. Those who can count and those who can't. Jun. 4, 2012
Donuts: Is there anything they can't do? Jun. 1, 2012
The optimist sees the donut, the pessimist sees the hole. Jun. 1, 2012
Those who throw dirt only lose ground. May. 31, 2012
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. May. 31, 2012
Practice doesn't make perfect. Perfect practice makes prefcet. May. 31, 2012
It's not my fault that I never learned to accept responsibility. May. 30, 2012
Don't go chasing waterfalls, because you might get wet. May. 30, 2012
Statistics show that people who have the most birthdays, live the longest. May. 30, 2012
This sentence is a lie. May. 29, 2012
Change is good, but dollars are better. May. 29, 2012
Enough about me, now tell me what you think of me. May. 29, 2012
I stopped fighting my inner demons; we're on the same side now. May. 25, 2012
Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid. May. 25, 2012
When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in people's eyes. May. 25, 2012
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong. May. 24, 2012
If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side. May. 24, 2012
Everyone is gifted. Some open the package sooner. May. 24, 2012
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot. May. 22, 2012
Never forget a friend, especially those that owe you. May. 22, 2012
My friend David lost his ID so we call him Dav. May. 22, 2012
Who put the alfabet in alfabetical order??? May. 21, 2012
myspacebuttonisbroken May. 21, 2012
has someone seen my capslock key? May. 21, 2012
I fish, therefore I lie. May. 18, 2012
The road to success is always under construction May. 18, 2012
Cheer up, the worst is yet to come. May. 18, 2012
There's no "we" in iPaige May. 15, 2012
iPaige movies are in 8D! May. 15, 2012
The iPaige plays 45's + 78's (in stereo) May. 14, 2012
I have a new, revolutionary invention: the iPaige May. 14, 2012
It's never too late to mutate. May. 11, 2012
Don't confuse me with facts; my mind's already made up. May. 11, 2012
The only joy in the world is to begin. May. 9, 2012
This would be really funny if it weren't happening to me. May. 9, 2012
Man dreads fame as a pig dreads fat. May. 8, 2012
The shortest answer is doing. May. 8, 2012
They told me I had type-A blood, but that was a typo May. 8, 2012
Broken pencils are pointless. May. 7, 2012
When chemists die, they barium. May. 7, 2012
Know a good chemistry joke? Let me zinc about it. May. 7, 2012
Never trust a skinny chef. May. 4, 2012
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool. May. 4, 2012
I'd rather play Twister with myself. May. 4, 2012
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. May. 2, 2012
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes. May. 2, 2012
I used to be a banker, but this I lost interest. May. 2, 2012
Velcro: What a rip off! May. 1, 2012
Venison for dinner again? Oh deer! May. 1, 2012
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist. May. 1, 2012
WARNING: He's subject to spontaneous outburst of song. Apr. 30, 2012
I ♥ working nights and weekends Apr. 30, 2012
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. Apr. 30, 2012
I put ketchup on my ketchup. Apr. 25, 2012
I'm not getting old, I'm getting awesome! Apr. 25, 2012
Sorry for being myself! Apr. 23, 2012
I'd rather be fighting zombies. Apr. 23, 2012
I'm up and out of bed. What more do you want? Apr. 23, 2012
I'm gonna invent a vaccine for stupid. Apr. 20, 2012
Don't interrupt the conversation I'm having with myself. Apr. 20, 2012
Circle of trust Apr. 20, 2012 [pic]
If you don't like my driving, stay off the sidewalk. Apr. 18, 2012
Dinosaurs Apr. 18, 2012
Can we have class outside today? Apr. 18, 2012
I'm just a sorry person. Apr. 17, 2012
Sorry for shouting last segment Apr. 17, 2012
Sorry for shouting yesterday Apr. 17, 2012
The glass is always full Apr. 16, 2012 Drawing of glass showing half air, half water.
You read my board. Apr. 16, 2012
Dear Algebra Apr. 16, 2012
Snowmen fall from the sky unassembled. Apr. 13, 2012
Restraint is good in moderation Apr. 13, 2012
I used to respect my elders. Now I have none to respect. Apr. 11, 2012
Sure, let me drop everything and work on your problem! Apr. 11, 2012
Thank you Wikipedia! Apr. 10, 2012
Hi! I don't care. Thanks! Have a nice day. Apr. 10, 2012
Pain is weakness leaving the body. Apr. 10, 2012
All true wisdom is found on this board. Apr. 9, 2012
So far, this is the oldest I've ever been. Apr. 9, 2012
Tax deduction Apr. 3, 2012 Picture of a baby [pic]
Baby "on board" Apr. 3, 2012 Picture of a baby. [pic]
Never stand between a dog and a fire hydrant Mar. 30, 2012
Never eat a powdered donut when wearing a dark suit. Mar. 30, 2012
Chickens playing basketball...flagrant fowl. Mar. 28, 2012
Pithy comment goes here Mar. 28, 2012
You must be this tall to be a ATH champ. Mar. 28, 2012 [pic]
I am even more handsome if you watch on mute. Mar. 27, 2012
Tony should give me a point for punctuation.!? Mar. 27, 2012
If Rome were built in a day, I would hire that contractor. Mar. 27, 2012
If you don't like what's being said, change the conversation Mar. 26, 2012
The only thing worse than not getting what you want, is someone else getting it. Mar. 26, 2012
It wasn't a lie, it was ineptitude with insufficient cover. Mar. 26, 2012
Why does election season last for 3 seasons? Mar. 23, 2012
I can't believe Dancing With the Stars isn't returning my phone calls. Mar. 23, 2012
Don't talk to me, I'm arguing. Mar. 22, 2012
My chalkboard is smarter than your honor student Mar. 22, 2012
Honk if you love the chalkboard Mar. 22, 2012
Hug your local chalkboard Mar. 21, 2012
Fancy Pants Mar. 21, 2012
I'm not saying you're paranoid, but everyone knows you are. Mar. 21, 2012
Gravy is an underrated condiment Mar. 20, 2012
My bracket is in worse shape than my abs. Mar. 20, 2012
This board is also an accurate topographical map of North Dakota Mar. 20, 2012
I pay no attention to the horn Mar. 14, 2012
I'm a ninja. Mar. 14, 2012
Warning: I do stupid things Mar. 14, 2012
You me bracket Mar. 13, 2012
Teiam player Mar. 13, 2012 Arrow pointing at Woody
I'm the next big thing! Mar. 12, 2012
F n h th s nt ce Mar. 12, 2012
Bracket Mar. 12, 2012
Shut your mouth when you talk to me. Mar. 9, 2012
My imaginary friend thinks Tony has serious problems Mar. 9, 2012 Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH
When you're board with your budget, you run out of chalk. Mar. 9, 2012
FOUND SOME! Mar. 8, 2012
I'm almost out of cha Mar. 8, 2012
Without chalk Mar. 7, 2012
Without Tony this show is something. Mar. 7, 2012 Tony = Tony Reali, the host of ATH
Without the chalkboard Woody is nothing Mar. 7, 2012
Yes, I want guacamole! Mar. 6, 2012
Nails! Mar. 6, 2012
I prefer Fat Tuesday over Super Tuesday Mar. 6, 2012
Now might be a good time to buy stock in chalk. Mar. 1, 2012
You're welcome chalkboard industry. Mar. 1, 2012
After K.B. talks there's still meat left on that bone. Feb. 29, 2012 K.B. = Kevin Blackistone, another panelist on the show
I like my steak tartare well done Feb. 29, 2012
I don't just bring meat, I bring Kobe beef. Feb. 29, 2012
The early bird gets the worm. The early dog gets the bird. Feb. 28, 2012
A man is known by the company he avoids. Feb. 28, 2012
Efficiency is intelligent laziness. Feb. 28, 2012
Won an Oscar last night for Best Facetime Feb. 27, 2012
3-time Academy Award winner Feb. 27, 2012 Arrow pointing at Woody
It's my time to shine! Feb. 23, 2012
Warning: mouth operates faster than brain. Feb. 23, 2012
Somedays you eat the bear, and sometimes the bear eats you. Feb. 23, 2012
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end. Feb. 22, 2012
When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate. Feb. 22, 2012
Medicine is the best medicine Feb. 21, 2012
Never forget Feb. 21, 2012 [pic]
An unemployed court jester is nobody's fool. Feb. 10, 2012
Now that I know all the answers, nobody ask me any questions. Feb. 10, 2012
A circle is divided into 400 grads. Feb. 8, 2012 Woody has been trying to win his 400th show for a while now.
400 is the square of 20. Feb. 8, 2012 Woody has been trying to win his 400th show for a while now.
400 is a Harshad Number Feb. 8, 2012 Woody has been trying to win his 400th show for a while now, and yes, 400 is a Harshad Number.
What concert costs 45 cents? Feb. 7, 2012
Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous" Feb. 7, 2012
Why are they called "stands" when they're made for sitting? Feb. 7, 2012
I went from liking Air Supply to needing air supply. Feb. 6, 2012
Someone said I sound like an owl. Feb. 6, 2012
I'm available for 4 difficult payments of: $19.99 Feb. 6, 2012
salt + pepper to taste Feb. 3, 2012
3 ripe avacodos Feb. 3, 2012
Coming up Feb. 3, 2012
I'd rather be alone than with these people. Feb. 1, 2012
Forgive Bomani, I was young and stupid once too. Feb. 1, 2012 Bomani = Bomani Jones, another panelist on the show.
Either you agree with me, or you're wrong. Feb. 1, 2012
Pong is still the best game. Jan. 31, 2012 [pic]
I'm your wing, man Jan. 31, 2012 [pic]
I got rid of my headache Jan. 31, 2012 [pic]
Cool story bro; tell it again. Jan. 30, 2012
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself...and mutes! Jan. 30, 2012
I've got your back Jan. 30, 2012 [pic]
Don't be square! Jan. 27, 2012 A circle talking to a square [pic]
You're pointless. Jan. 27, 2012 A triangle talking to a circle [pic]
All sports are fantasy sports with this body. Jan. 25, 2012
Zombies eat brains! Jan. 25, 2012
Bob Ryan and I are reprising our roles on The Muppets. Jan. 25, 2012
Give me Face Time, or give me cheeseburgers. Jan. 24, 2012
Karaoke is a window to the soul. Soul, or funk, or rock. Jan. 24, 2012
I'm just the boy that tweeted "wolf" Jan. 24, 2012
If you don't believe me, I made it up. Jan. 23, 2012
Beggers can't be choosers, but they can win this show! Jan. 23, 2012
This is my brain Jan. 23, 2012
Every man has his price. Mine is $3.99 Jan. 20, 2012
Bigger they are, the harder you fall. Jan. 20, 2012
So...how many days did it take to build Rome? Jan. 20, 2012
Clean as a whistle? Jan. 18, 2012
I like Vanna better Jan. 18, 2012 Tony opened the show by touching the monitors, like Vanna does on "Wheel of Fortune".
  Jan. 17, 2012 The blackboard was invisible. [pic]
Stay Tuned Jan. 17, 2012
Stop here on mute Jan. 13, 2012 Arrow pointing at Woody.
Keep left Jan. 13, 2012 Arrow pointing to the right.
Not propaganda Jan. 13, 2012
No more gift cards. Just send cash! Jan. 11, 2012
I just finished returning all my Christmas gifts. Jan. 11, 2012
Has scored more than any other ATH panelist Jan. 10, 2012 Arrow pointing at Woody. Referencing his ATH scoring record from yesterday (also, double entendre?).
New all-time scoring leader Jan. 10, 2012
I'm still going to do it! BELIEVE!!! Jan. 9, 2012 Started the segment at 64, one shy of the record. Ended with 71, the new record.
Stay tuned for my scoring record! Jan. 9, 2012 He had 55 points at the time.
Tremendous Jan. 9, 2012
I can walk the walk and chalk the chalk. Jan. 6, 2012
I never liked a man I didn't meet. Jan. 6, 2012
Vegas says I have a 1% chance to win today. Jan. 6, 2012
I'm not famous, I'm just in the spotlight more than him Jan. 4, 2012 Arrow pointing at Woody.
I deserve to be in the spotlight this year. Jan. 4, 2012
It wouldn't be New Year's if I didn't have regrets. Jan. 3, 2012
Many people look forward to the new year for a new start on old habits. Jan. 3, 2012
Duct tape fixes everything! Jan. 3, 2012 Duct tape was holding the chalkboard up. It fell, "accidentally", in the middle of the segment. [pic]